While parents are generally quite comfortable about talking about the problems digital devices pose in their homes, they are often hesitant to share their screen time rules. In fact, I was once such a parent. Worried that people would judge me by my rules, I would favor keeping my mouth shut.
It makes perfect sense that we parents have insecurities about sharing our rules; divulging to others what we are doing, or trying to do, often wakes up our inner critic—like it did to me. The critic says things like “I bet she is thinking I am a control freak,” or, “I am sure he thinks I am such a loser because I don’t have any rules around _____ (fill in the blank).”
But what I have learned is how incredibly helpful it is—for the sake of our children and teens—that we speak up and share the solutions we are trying. There are no chapters in What to Expect When You're Expecting on how to parent during a technology revolution. We need each other.
So now it’s time to ask your inner critic to go on vacation and challenge yourself to be more open with others about the rules you are trying in your home this summer. I am so grateful to the people below who shared their summertime rules with us at Screenagers over the past few weeks.
Let me first start with what rules are in place this summer for Tessa, our 16-year-old daughter. She came up with these last week as she just got home from camp after being unplugged for a couple of weeks. She started the conversation by sharing some goals she had for the rest of summer. Then, she said her plans/rules are to watch no more than 4 hours a week of TV-type shows and spend just an hour a day on social media. (We also have other family rules about tech that you can see in an earlier post). In an upcoming TTT, I will cover how she will be accountable for those goals because the topic of enforcing limits deserves a full blog post.
Here are other people’s rules for the summer:
For this week’s TTT, here are some conversation starters:
While parents are generally quite comfortable about talking about the problems digital devices pose in their homes, they are often hesitant to share their screen time rules. In fact, I was once such a parent. Worried that people would judge me by my rules, I would favor keeping my mouth shut.
It makes perfect sense that we parents have insecurities about sharing our rules; divulging to others what we are doing, or trying to do, often wakes up our inner critic—like it did to me. The critic says things like “I bet she is thinking I am a control freak,” or, “I am sure he thinks I am such a loser because I don’t have any rules around _____ (fill in the blank).”
But what I have learned is how incredibly helpful it is—for the sake of our children and teens—that we speak up and share the solutions we are trying. There are no chapters in What to Expect When You're Expecting on how to parent during a technology revolution. We need each other.
So now it’s time to ask your inner critic to go on vacation and challenge yourself to be more open with others about the rules you are trying in your home this summer. I am so grateful to the people below who shared their summertime rules with us at Screenagers over the past few weeks.
Let me first start with what rules are in place this summer for Tessa, our 16-year-old daughter. She came up with these last week as she just got home from camp after being unplugged for a couple of weeks. She started the conversation by sharing some goals she had for the rest of summer. Then, she said her plans/rules are to watch no more than 4 hours a week of TV-type shows and spend just an hour a day on social media. (We also have other family rules about tech that you can see in an earlier post). In an upcoming TTT, I will cover how she will be accountable for those goals because the topic of enforcing limits deserves a full blog post.
Here are other people’s rules for the summer:
For this week’s TTT, here are some conversation starters:
Everyone is trying to grasp where we currently are with screen time and kids and where we will be when the COVID crisis is more fully behind us. Today I highlight some of the key findings in a new report and what we can glean from the data to help in conversations with young people.
READ MORE >Recently two friends of mine — a married couple — told me that they were just about to get their 13-year-old son his first smartphone. They explained that they told him that they would get him one once he reached 8th grade and did well academically during the first part of the school year. They explained to their son, I’ll call him Charlie, that they needed to set up expectations and ground rules around the phone, and they wanted him to write down the reasons he wanted a phone and why he felt he needed a phone. Also, they asked him to write some possible rules and ideas about good digital citizenship. They recorded the conversation and today I share some of it with you.
READ MORE >A few weeks ago a dear friend shared with me about her screen-free family Sundays with her 3 kids. When Jamie started Screen-Free Sundays, they planned to just try it out for a month so she wouldn’t feel overwhelmed by the experiment. I also talk with a mom in Alaska who prioritized reading in her family in all sorts of ways — and keeping screens at bay when they read. Hear how the experiments have gone.
READ MORE >for more like this, DR. DELANEY RUSTON'S NEW BOOK, PARENTING IN THE SCREEN AGE, IS THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE FOR TODAY’S PARENTS. WITH INSIGHTS ON SCREEN TIME FROM RESEARCHERS, INPUT FROM KIDS & TEENS, THIS BOOK IS PACKED WITH SOLUTIONS FOR HOW TO START AND SUSTAIN PRODUCTIVE FAMILY TALKS ABOUT TECHNOLOGY AND IT’S IMPACT ON OUR MENTAL WELLBEING.