Kids with ADHD benefit most when parents provide support at the exact moment behavior happens, a science-backed approach called "point of performance." Abruptly shifting from high-stimulation screen time to demanding tasks creates a "dopamine cliff," a brain chemistry drop that often shows up as resistance and conflict. Understanding both concepts helps parents smooth those transitions and build real skills and confidence in their kids over time.
Yesterday, we released a new Parenting In the Screen Age podcast episode with guest Dr. Erin Schoenfelder Gonzalez, a clinical psychologist and researcher at Seattle Children’s Hospital who has spent much of her career helping young people with ADHD and their families.
Our conversation focuses on what ADHD looks like at different ages and what parenting skills can really help with screen time, physical activity, and sleep.
Today, I share two of the key strategies discussed.
You can listen to the episode here: Apple Podcasts // Spotify // YouTube // Website
Erin talks about why treating ADHD is not about having kids go to therapy once a week, but rather about parents learning how to provide reinforcement at the time of the behavior.
Here is what Erin says,
“What we find works is what the scientists call intervention at the point of performance. So that means helping kids in their real-world setting, where the behavior needs to happen. So we, that means adults, need to be equipped with that skill set to set them up for success and respond and give feedback in a way that is helpful and not, not harmful in the moment.
…so what we've found is if we can teach parents and educators everything that we've learned in the science about behavior change and supporting motivation and focus, that's where the change is gonna happen for kids.
When it comes to supporting children with ADHD, one of the most effective approaches is helping parents build skills through programs often known as Parent Behavior Management Training. Despite the name, these programs aren’t about “managing parents”— they’re designed to equip parents with practical, evidence-based strategies to support their their child better.
“...our parent behavior management training models focus on connecting the relationship, creating a lot of strength in that positive attachment bond, but then motivating kids by giving lots of attention to things we want to see more of, really engaging, drawing their attention to those things. Rewarding new behaviors that are not yet a habit. Creating external rewards so that kids can get consistent with the new behavior and have it become a habit and more automatic.”
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This is what happens when a child is asked to go straight from a highly stimulating activity, like scrolling on YouTube, to something that requires sustained effort, like homework.
From a brain standpoint, that is a steep drop, and it often shows up as resistance, avoidance, or conflict. When we understand this brain chemistry, it shifts how we, as parents, can approach these moments.
Instead of expecting kids to make that jump instantly, we can help smooth the transition. A quick play moment, going outside, or even just staying nearby can help bridge that gap.
When we combine this with supporting kids at the point of performance, we are not just managing behavior, we are giving them the support they need to build skills and confidence over time.
Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
Learn more about our Screen-Free Sleep campaign at the website!
Our movie made for parents and educators of younger kids
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We add new videos regularly and you'll find over 100 videos covering parenting advice, guidance, podcasts, movie clips and more. Here's our most recent:
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Yesterday, we released a new Parenting In the Screen Age podcast episode with guest Dr. Erin Schoenfelder Gonzalez, a clinical psychologist and researcher at Seattle Children’s Hospital who has spent much of her career helping young people with ADHD and their families.
Our conversation focuses on what ADHD looks like at different ages and what parenting skills can really help with screen time, physical activity, and sleep.
Today, I share two of the key strategies discussed.
You can listen to the episode here: Apple Podcasts // Spotify // YouTube // Website
Erin talks about why treating ADHD is not about having kids go to therapy once a week, but rather about parents learning how to provide reinforcement at the time of the behavior.
Here is what Erin says,
“What we find works is what the scientists call intervention at the point of performance. So that means helping kids in their real-world setting, where the behavior needs to happen. So we, that means adults, need to be equipped with that skill set to set them up for success and respond and give feedback in a way that is helpful and not, not harmful in the moment.
…so what we've found is if we can teach parents and educators everything that we've learned in the science about behavior change and supporting motivation and focus, that's where the change is gonna happen for kids.
When it comes to supporting children with ADHD, one of the most effective approaches is helping parents build skills through programs often known as Parent Behavior Management Training. Despite the name, these programs aren’t about “managing parents”— they’re designed to equip parents with practical, evidence-based strategies to support their their child better.
“...our parent behavior management training models focus on connecting the relationship, creating a lot of strength in that positive attachment bond, but then motivating kids by giving lots of attention to things we want to see more of, really engaging, drawing their attention to those things. Rewarding new behaviors that are not yet a habit. Creating external rewards so that kids can get consistent with the new behavior and have it become a habit and more automatic.”
This is what happens when a child is asked to go straight from a highly stimulating activity, like scrolling on YouTube, to something that requires sustained effort, like homework.
From a brain standpoint, that is a steep drop, and it often shows up as resistance, avoidance, or conflict. When we understand this brain chemistry, it shifts how we, as parents, can approach these moments.
Instead of expecting kids to make that jump instantly, we can help smooth the transition. A quick play moment, going outside, or even just staying nearby can help bridge that gap.
When we combine this with supporting kids at the point of performance, we are not just managing behavior, we are giving them the support they need to build skills and confidence over time.
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We add new videos regularly and you'll find over 100 videos covering parenting advice, guidance, podcasts, movie clips and more. Here's our most recent:
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Yesterday, we released a new Parenting In the Screen Age podcast episode with guest Dr. Erin Schoenfelder Gonzalez, a clinical psychologist and researcher at Seattle Children’s Hospital who has spent much of her career helping young people with ADHD and their families.
Our conversation focuses on what ADHD looks like at different ages and what parenting skills can really help with screen time, physical activity, and sleep.
Today, I share two of the key strategies discussed.
You can listen to the episode here: Apple Podcasts // Spotify // YouTube // Website
Erin talks about why treating ADHD is not about having kids go to therapy once a week, but rather about parents learning how to provide reinforcement at the time of the behavior.
Here is what Erin says,
“What we find works is what the scientists call intervention at the point of performance. So that means helping kids in their real-world setting, where the behavior needs to happen. So we, that means adults, need to be equipped with that skill set to set them up for success and respond and give feedback in a way that is helpful and not, not harmful in the moment.
…so what we've found is if we can teach parents and educators everything that we've learned in the science about behavior change and supporting motivation and focus, that's where the change is gonna happen for kids.
When it comes to supporting children with ADHD, one of the most effective approaches is helping parents build skills through programs often known as Parent Behavior Management Training. Despite the name, these programs aren’t about “managing parents”— they’re designed to equip parents with practical, evidence-based strategies to support their their child better.
“...our parent behavior management training models focus on connecting the relationship, creating a lot of strength in that positive attachment bond, but then motivating kids by giving lots of attention to things we want to see more of, really engaging, drawing their attention to those things. Rewarding new behaviors that are not yet a habit. Creating external rewards so that kids can get consistent with the new behavior and have it become a habit and more automatic.”
A new Louis Theroux documentary on Netflix exposes the growing network of online influencers pushing sexism, misogyny, and a narrow vision of masculinity on boys and young men. Combined with last year's hit series Adolescence, it is a wake-up call for parents. The good news: there is a lot we can do. This week, I round up our most relevant blogs and podcast episodes from recent months, covering everything from the "interrupter" technique to boys' mental health, phones in schools, online sports betting, pornography, and the manosphere's exploitation of boys' loneliness. The research is clear that parents who show up with curiosity, honesty, and consistency have more influence than they realize.
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When kids struggle with big emotions, many parents reach for a screen to keep the peace — but this can get in the way of children developing real coping skills. Drawing on research from Dr. Jenny Radesky, this post shares two practical strategies: using the Zones of Regulation color system to help kids name and process their feelings, and doing a toy swap with another parent to build your "vulnerable village" of support. Both approaches turn difficult screen-time moments into opportunities for emotional growth.
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When teens say they hate you, it often feels personal, but it may not truly be about you. Teens sometimes direct their overwhelming feelings toward the safest person in their life. Instead of responding with logic or backing down out of fear, check that your limits are fair, practice self-compassion, and focus on validation rather than correction. If conflict feels stuck, family counseling can help both sides feel heard and understood.
READ MORE >for more like this, DR. DELANEY RUSTON'S NEW BOOK, PARENTING IN THE SCREEN AGE, IS THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE FOR TODAY’S PARENTS. WITH INSIGHTS ON SCREEN TIME FROM RESEARCHERS, INPUT FROM KIDS & TEENS, THIS BOOK IS PACKED WITH SOLUTIONS FOR HOW TO START AND SUSTAIN PRODUCTIVE FAMILY TALKS ABOUT TECHNOLOGY AND IT’S IMPACT ON OUR MENTAL WELLBEING.
