My obsession with helping families parent around screen time is emotion-laden (this is about our kids so of course, it’s emotional) but also data-driven.
Before I went to medical school, I was a researcher at the National Institutes of Health. After my medical training I did more research in communications and ethics. I love good data. We need good data.
That said, we recently conducted a small survey of people from our Screenagers email list and I will be the first to say this is a biased sample. Respondents were not chosen at random but were found through their interest in Screenagers. But, the good thing is we can still glean insights from this data about family rules.
Prior to the survey, I had ideas on rules based on my experience, interviews with hundreds of kids, teens, and parents and extensive research review. I have come up with 4 rules that I think households should strongly consider implementing. (Even if you have older teens, know that it is never too late). Here they are, and below them, you will find the results of our survey:
4 KEY SCREEN TIME RULES
For TTT this week talk with your family (or students) about these rules:
Survey of Screenagers email list—200 parents responded
1. Question: Can devices be in the bedroom?
92% of respondents allow devices in their children’s rooms at night. There is clear data how devices in bedrooms negatively affect sleep.
2. Question: Do you allow your kids to respond to texts, messages, Snapchats while doing homework?
30% of the respondents allow their kids to respond to texts, messages, Snapchats while doing homework.
One respondent wrote:
"Yes [they can use computers and phones], but they are both very diligent workers so they usually ignore their phones in order to get the homework done."
Another wrote:
"No devices while doing homework. But as the kids age and need access to information, I imagine this will change."
3. Question: Can you have your device out at meals?
20% of respondents said that they allow devices out during meals. Here are some of the rules that people shared:
"If devices are brought to the table, they have to be stacked face down and the first person to touch their device has to wash up."
"[We don't] but the husband/father [in our house] does some, claiming he is still working as we eat at 6 PM and he works from home, and he always seems to have an excuse to pull out his iPhone in the 20 minutes we sit down to a meal and it is a sore spot for the wife and kid."
"We make exceptions when a family discussion leads to a question and we look something up on Google, IMDB, etc. (We're a family that also keeps a dictionary and world atlas near the dinner table for the same reason.)"
4. Question: Are there rules around amount of screen time and or type of gaming?
75% of parents responded that they do not have rules around the amount of time and or type of gaming their kids do.
Here are some examples they shared with us:
"Gaming is only allowed Fridays-Sundays, but no limits on those days. Gaming is in living areas. Games of all ratings are allowed, but M ratings are previewed and any with sexual or drug content are not allowed."
"No midweek gaming unless you have straight As. Unlimited gaming on weekends if you haven't lost the privilege."
My obsession with helping families parent around screen time is emotion-laden (this is about our kids so of course, it’s emotional) but also data-driven.
Before I went to medical school, I was a researcher at the National Institutes of Health. After my medical training I did more research in communications and ethics. I love good data. We need good data.
That said, we recently conducted a small survey of people from our Screenagers email list and I will be the first to say this is a biased sample. Respondents were not chosen at random but were found through their interest in Screenagers. But, the good thing is we can still glean insights from this data about family rules.
Prior to the survey, I had ideas on rules based on my experience, interviews with hundreds of kids, teens, and parents and extensive research review. I have come up with 4 rules that I think households should strongly consider implementing. (Even if you have older teens, know that it is never too late). Here they are, and below them, you will find the results of our survey:
4 KEY SCREEN TIME RULES
For TTT this week talk with your family (or students) about these rules:
Survey of Screenagers email list—200 parents responded
1. Question: Can devices be in the bedroom?
92% of respondents allow devices in their children’s rooms at night. There is clear data how devices in bedrooms negatively affect sleep.
2. Question: Do you allow your kids to respond to texts, messages, Snapchats while doing homework?
30% of the respondents allow their kids to respond to texts, messages, Snapchats while doing homework.
One respondent wrote:
"Yes [they can use computers and phones], but they are both very diligent workers so they usually ignore their phones in order to get the homework done."
Another wrote:
"No devices while doing homework. But as the kids age and need access to information, I imagine this will change."
3. Question: Can you have your device out at meals?
20% of respondents said that they allow devices out during meals. Here are some of the rules that people shared:
"If devices are brought to the table, they have to be stacked face down and the first person to touch their device has to wash up."
"[We don't] but the husband/father [in our house] does some, claiming he is still working as we eat at 6 PM and he works from home, and he always seems to have an excuse to pull out his iPhone in the 20 minutes we sit down to a meal and it is a sore spot for the wife and kid."
"We make exceptions when a family discussion leads to a question and we look something up on Google, IMDB, etc. (We're a family that also keeps a dictionary and world atlas near the dinner table for the same reason.)"
4. Question: Are there rules around amount of screen time and or type of gaming?
75% of parents responded that they do not have rules around the amount of time and or type of gaming their kids do.
Here are some examples they shared with us:
"Gaming is only allowed Fridays-Sundays, but no limits on those days. Gaming is in living areas. Games of all ratings are allowed, but M ratings are previewed and any with sexual or drug content are not allowed."
"No midweek gaming unless you have straight As. Unlimited gaming on weekends if you haven't lost the privilege."
One of THE most challenging things as a parent is knowing how to respond when our kids break rules around screen time. Today I write about what to do when transgressions happen, consulting about the WISE before taking action and why consequences should be short..
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Having policies/ rules around tech is valuable and worth the work. But I am the last to claim that this is easy. You may know my personal story from Screenagers, where you saw me learning the hard way how critical it is that we find ways to involve our kids in defining screen-tome rules with us — vs. my initial, more top-down techniques. In today’s blog, I give 11 rules/policies to consider for the New Year. And I also include a couple of recent studies you may want to share with your kids.
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As the New Year begins, it's natural to think about resolutions and ways to improve our habits and routines. But instead of focusing on revamping screen time rules, I've been thinking about the moments when my family and I turned off, or turned over, our devices and were more present with each other. One of my resolutions was to share these memories with my family. My hope is that it will foster not only a feeling of gratitude but also create a "family piggy bank" of positive experiences to draw upon when tech troubles inevitably arise.
READ MORE >for more like this, DR. DELANEY RUSTON'S NEW BOOK, PARENTING IN THE SCREEN AGE, IS THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE FOR TODAY’S PARENTS. WITH INSIGHTS ON SCREEN TIME FROM RESEARCHERS, INPUT FROM KIDS & TEENS, THIS BOOK IS PACKED WITH SOLUTIONS FOR HOW TO START AND SUSTAIN PRODUCTIVE FAMILY TALKS ABOUT TECHNOLOGY AND IT’S IMPACT ON OUR MENTAL WELLBEING.
