My obsession with helping families parent around screen time is emotion-laden (this is about our kids so of course, it’s emotional) but also data-driven.
Before I went to medical school, I was a researcher at the National Institutes of Health. After my medical training I did more research in communications and ethics. I love good data. We need good data.
That said, we recently conducted a small survey of people from our Screenagers email list and I will be the first to say this is a biased sample. Respondents were not chosen at random but were found through their interest in Screenagers. But, the good thing is we can still glean insights from this data about family rules.
Prior to the survey, I had ideas on rules based on my experience, interviews with hundreds of kids, teens, and parents and extensive research review. I have come up with 4 rules that I think households should strongly consider implementing. (Even if you have older teens, know that it is never too late). Here they are, and below them, you will find the results of our survey:
4 KEY SCREEN TIME RULES
For TTT this week talk with your family (or students) about these rules:
Survey of Screenagers email list—200 parents responded
1. Question: Can devices be in the bedroom?
92% of respondents allow devices in their children’s rooms at night. There is clear data how devices in bedrooms negatively affect sleep.
2. Question: Do you allow your kids to respond to texts, messages, Snapchats while doing homework?
30% of the respondents allow their kids to respond to texts, messages, Snapchats while doing homework.
One respondent wrote:
"Yes [they can use computers and phones], but they are both very diligent workers so they usually ignore their phones in order to get the homework done."
Another wrote:
"No devices while doing homework. But as the kids age and need access to information, I imagine this will change."
3. Question: Can you have your device out at meals?
20% of respondents said that they allow devices out during meals. Here are some of the rules that people shared:
"If devices are brought to the table, they have to be stacked face down and the first person to touch their device has to wash up."
"[We don't] but the husband/father [in our house] does some, claiming he is still working as we eat at 6 PM and he works from home, and he always seems to have an excuse to pull out his iPhone in the 20 minutes we sit down to a meal and it is a sore spot for the wife and kid."
"We make exceptions when a family discussion leads to a question and we look something up on Google, IMDB, etc. (We're a family that also keeps a dictionary and world atlas near the dinner table for the same reason.)"
4. Question: Are there rules around amount of screen time and or type of gaming?
75% of parents responded that they do not have rules around the amount of time and or type of gaming their kids do.
Here are some examples they shared with us:
"Gaming is only allowed Fridays-Sundays, but no limits on those days. Gaming is in living areas. Games of all ratings are allowed, but M ratings are previewed and any with sexual or drug content are not allowed."
"No midweek gaming unless you have straight As. Unlimited gaming on weekends if you haven't lost the privilege."
My obsession with helping families parent around screen time is emotion-laden (this is about our kids so of course, it’s emotional) but also data-driven.
Before I went to medical school, I was a researcher at the National Institutes of Health. After my medical training I did more research in communications and ethics. I love good data. We need good data.
That said, we recently conducted a small survey of people from our Screenagers email list and I will be the first to say this is a biased sample. Respondents were not chosen at random but were found through their interest in Screenagers. But, the good thing is we can still glean insights from this data about family rules.
Prior to the survey, I had ideas on rules based on my experience, interviews with hundreds of kids, teens, and parents and extensive research review. I have come up with 4 rules that I think households should strongly consider implementing. (Even if you have older teens, know that it is never too late). Here they are, and below them, you will find the results of our survey:
4 KEY SCREEN TIME RULES
For TTT this week talk with your family (or students) about these rules:
Survey of Screenagers email list—200 parents responded
1. Question: Can devices be in the bedroom?
92% of respondents allow devices in their children’s rooms at night. There is clear data how devices in bedrooms negatively affect sleep.
2. Question: Do you allow your kids to respond to texts, messages, Snapchats while doing homework?
30% of the respondents allow their kids to respond to texts, messages, Snapchats while doing homework.
One respondent wrote:
"Yes [they can use computers and phones], but they are both very diligent workers so they usually ignore their phones in order to get the homework done."
Another wrote:
"No devices while doing homework. But as the kids age and need access to information, I imagine this will change."
3. Question: Can you have your device out at meals?
20% of respondents said that they allow devices out during meals. Here are some of the rules that people shared:
"If devices are brought to the table, they have to be stacked face down and the first person to touch their device has to wash up."
"[We don't] but the husband/father [in our house] does some, claiming he is still working as we eat at 6 PM and he works from home, and he always seems to have an excuse to pull out his iPhone in the 20 minutes we sit down to a meal and it is a sore spot for the wife and kid."
"We make exceptions when a family discussion leads to a question and we look something up on Google, IMDB, etc. (We're a family that also keeps a dictionary and world atlas near the dinner table for the same reason.)"
4. Question: Are there rules around amount of screen time and or type of gaming?
75% of parents responded that they do not have rules around the amount of time and or type of gaming their kids do.
Here are some examples they shared with us:
"Gaming is only allowed Fridays-Sundays, but no limits on those days. Gaming is in living areas. Games of all ratings are allowed, but M ratings are previewed and any with sexual or drug content are not allowed."
"No midweek gaming unless you have straight As. Unlimited gaming on weekends if you haven't lost the privilege."
Everyone is trying to grasp where we currently are with screen time and kids and where we will be when the COVID crisis is more fully behind us. Today I highlight some of the key findings in a new report and what we can glean from the data to help in conversations with young people.
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Recently two friends of mine — a married couple — told me that they were just about to get their 13-year-old son his first smartphone. They explained that they told him that they would get him one once he reached 8th grade and did well academically during the first part of the school year. They explained to their son, I’ll call him Charlie, that they needed to set up expectations and ground rules around the phone, and they wanted him to write down the reasons he wanted a phone and why he felt he needed a phone. Also, they asked him to write some possible rules and ideas about good digital citizenship. They recorded the conversation and today I share some of it with you.
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A few weeks ago a dear friend shared with me about her screen-free family Sundays with her 3 kids. When Jamie started Screen-Free Sundays, they planned to just try it out for a month so she wouldn’t feel overwhelmed by the experiment. I also talk with a mom in Alaska who prioritized reading in her family in all sorts of ways — and keeping screens at bay when they read. Hear how the experiments have gone.
READ MORE >for more like this, DR. DELANEY RUSTON'S NEW BOOK, PARENTING IN THE SCREEN AGE, IS THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE FOR TODAY’S PARENTS. WITH INSIGHTS ON SCREEN TIME FROM RESEARCHERS, INPUT FROM KIDS & TEENS, THIS BOOK IS PACKED WITH SOLUTIONS FOR HOW TO START AND SUSTAIN PRODUCTIVE FAMILY TALKS ABOUT TECHNOLOGY AND IT’S IMPACT ON OUR MENTAL WELLBEING.
