It turns out swearing is on the rise according to this study. Even without a study, we know that through all the media and social media youth are exposed to these days, they are seeing swear words like never before. That’s where our work as loving adults is required. It is crucial that we take the time to have short, calm conversations about key topics, like this one. This study found that fewer than half of U.S. parents regularly discuss social media content with their pre-teens or teens. Let’s be among those parents that do address it.
I remember so clearly when my son had a flip phone—which was only eight years ago when he was 11—and I let him text me for rides as well as to communicate with his friends. We discussed that since online communication was new to him, I would monitor it now and then to make sure that it was going okay. I recall I had a bad feeling when I saw a fair amount of swearing in texts. Can you relate? I know I’m not the only parent that feels this way when our kids start using this language. The wider reaching consequence is particularly worrisome because so much of communication happens in group chats, on social media, and playing video games online.
Similar to 5-year-olds getting a little buzz from the reactions they elicit when they use “potty talk,” preteens are getting a buzz from using “forbidden words.” It makes them feel older, cooler, and separate from parents. The primary drive, of course, is that it’s a way to fit in with their peers who are also using that language. Issues around strong words continue into their teen years, so this TTT applies to kids of all ages who communicate online.
Being strategic is the best approach to the discussion because if we lecture our kids, or if we talk about it in a concerned tone, they are likely to tune us out. One way to decrease defensiveness and push back is to bring up the science around swearing. Here is an experiment that brings up a possible upside of why an individual might say harsh words to themselves in a difficult situation. In this experiment, researchers found that the people who swore while submerging a hand in ice water were able to keep their hands in the ice much longer than those who didn’t curse. The researchers theorize that using harsh words activates the flight or fight adrenal response and interferes with the link between fearing and perceiving pain, so subjects who swore could tolerate more pain.
You might want to also talk about some of the downsides of swearing. For example, using harsh words can make the people around you feel uncomfortable. And specifically, when people swear online, it's hard to interpret the meaning and the context of the words and you may be misunderstood.
After you bring up the science I mentioned, here is an approach to talking about this.
Here are some questions to get the Tech Talk Tuesday conversation going this week:
We would love for you to share this TTT any way that works for you, whether that’s on social media or via a newsletter. If you want to send it out in your newsletter we just ask that you credit us and link to our website, and let us know at lisa@screenagersmovie.com.
HOST A SCREENING to help spark change.
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Our movie made for parents and educators of younger kids
Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!
Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
Learn more about our Screen-Free Sleep campaign at the website!
Our movie made for parents and educators of younger kids
Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!
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It turns out swearing is on the rise according to this study. Even without a study, we know that through all the media and social media youth are exposed to these days, they are seeing swear words like never before. That’s where our work as loving adults is required. It is crucial that we take the time to have short, calm conversations about key topics, like this one. This study found that fewer than half of U.S. parents regularly discuss social media content with their pre-teens or teens. Let’s be among those parents that do address it.
I remember so clearly when my son had a flip phone—which was only eight years ago when he was 11—and I let him text me for rides as well as to communicate with his friends. We discussed that since online communication was new to him, I would monitor it now and then to make sure that it was going okay. I recall I had a bad feeling when I saw a fair amount of swearing in texts. Can you relate? I know I’m not the only parent that feels this way when our kids start using this language. The wider reaching consequence is particularly worrisome because so much of communication happens in group chats, on social media, and playing video games online.
Similar to 5-year-olds getting a little buzz from the reactions they elicit when they use “potty talk,” preteens are getting a buzz from using “forbidden words.” It makes them feel older, cooler, and separate from parents. The primary drive, of course, is that it’s a way to fit in with their peers who are also using that language. Issues around strong words continue into their teen years, so this TTT applies to kids of all ages who communicate online.
Being strategic is the best approach to the discussion because if we lecture our kids, or if we talk about it in a concerned tone, they are likely to tune us out. One way to decrease defensiveness and push back is to bring up the science around swearing. Here is an experiment that brings up a possible upside of why an individual might say harsh words to themselves in a difficult situation. In this experiment, researchers found that the people who swore while submerging a hand in ice water were able to keep their hands in the ice much longer than those who didn’t curse. The researchers theorize that using harsh words activates the flight or fight adrenal response and interferes with the link between fearing and perceiving pain, so subjects who swore could tolerate more pain.
You might want to also talk about some of the downsides of swearing. For example, using harsh words can make the people around you feel uncomfortable. And specifically, when people swear online, it's hard to interpret the meaning and the context of the words and you may be misunderstood.
After you bring up the science I mentioned, here is an approach to talking about this.
Here are some questions to get the Tech Talk Tuesday conversation going this week:
We would love for you to share this TTT any way that works for you, whether that’s on social media or via a newsletter. If you want to send it out in your newsletter we just ask that you credit us and link to our website, and let us know at lisa@screenagersmovie.com.
HOST A SCREENING to help spark change.
FIND EVENT LISTINGS
Do you organize professional development in schools? We now have a 6-hour, 3-part training module. Request more information here Professional Development.
Stay in touch with the Screenagers community on Facebook, Twitter and leave comments below.
As well as our weekly blog, we publish videos like this one every week on the Screenagers YouTube channel
Sign up here to receive the weekly Tech Talk Tuesdays newsletter from Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD.
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It turns out swearing is on the rise according to this study. Even without a study, we know that through all the media and social media youth are exposed to these days, they are seeing swear words like never before. That’s where our work as loving adults is required. It is crucial that we take the time to have short, calm conversations about key topics, like this one. This study found that fewer than half of U.S. parents regularly discuss social media content with their pre-teens or teens. Let’s be among those parents that do address it.
I remember so clearly when my son had a flip phone—which was only eight years ago when he was 11—and I let him text me for rides as well as to communicate with his friends. We discussed that since online communication was new to him, I would monitor it now and then to make sure that it was going okay. I recall I had a bad feeling when I saw a fair amount of swearing in texts. Can you relate? I know I’m not the only parent that feels this way when our kids start using this language. The wider reaching consequence is particularly worrisome because so much of communication happens in group chats, on social media, and playing video games online.
Similar to 5-year-olds getting a little buzz from the reactions they elicit when they use “potty talk,” preteens are getting a buzz from using “forbidden words.” It makes them feel older, cooler, and separate from parents. The primary drive, of course, is that it’s a way to fit in with their peers who are also using that language. Issues around strong words continue into their teen years, so this TTT applies to kids of all ages who communicate online.
Being strategic is the best approach to the discussion because if we lecture our kids, or if we talk about it in a concerned tone, they are likely to tune us out. One way to decrease defensiveness and push back is to bring up the science around swearing. Here is an experiment that brings up a possible upside of why an individual might say harsh words to themselves in a difficult situation. In this experiment, researchers found that the people who swore while submerging a hand in ice water were able to keep their hands in the ice much longer than those who didn’t curse. The researchers theorize that using harsh words activates the flight or fight adrenal response and interferes with the link between fearing and perceiving pain, so subjects who swore could tolerate more pain.
You might want to also talk about some of the downsides of swearing. For example, using harsh words can make the people around you feel uncomfortable. And specifically, when people swear online, it's hard to interpret the meaning and the context of the words and you may be misunderstood.
After you bring up the science I mentioned, here is an approach to talking about this.
Here are some questions to get the Tech Talk Tuesday conversation going this week:
We would love for you to share this TTT any way that works for you, whether that’s on social media or via a newsletter. If you want to send it out in your newsletter we just ask that you credit us and link to our website, and let us know at lisa@screenagersmovie.com.
HOST A SCREENING to help spark change.
FIND EVENT LISTINGS
Do you organize professional development in schools? We now have a 6-hour, 3-part training module. Request more information here Professional Development.
Stay in touch with the Screenagers community on Facebook, Twitter and leave comments below.
As well as our weekly blog, we publish videos like this one every week on the Screenagers YouTube channel
Have you nagged at your kids to get off a screen? I sure have. In fact, who hasn’t? In today’s blog, I share an excerpt from The Screenagers Podcast that will surprise your kids when you share it with them. It is a beautifully done study looking at MRI brain scans of teens when they hear their actual moms nagging at them. Why share this with your child? Because you are saying that you see how YOU (and all of us adults) sometimes use ineffective communication approaches.
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Our youth have complex social worlds, online and off, particularly now in the ongoing age of COVID, and they are vulnerable to the fact that they can’t control who is attracted to them, nor who they are attracted to. In today’s Screenagers’ Tech Talk Tuesday blog, I’m writing about how to help our kids with the universal human challenge of knowing when to accept what we can’t change in our social lives versus what we can try and change.
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Today I give ideas to spark conversations about how we, as influential adults in kids' lives, have responded to injustices and tragedies throughout our lives (tiny and big) to strengthen young people’s mindsets that there are always things that can be done. Specifically, I focus on advocacy, volunteering, and donating.
READ MORE >for more like this, DR. DELANEY RUSTON'S NEW BOOK, PARENTING IN THE SCREEN AGE, IS THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE FOR TODAY’S PARENTS. WITH INSIGHTS ON SCREEN TIME FROM RESEARCHERS, INPUT FROM KIDS & TEENS, THIS BOOK IS PACKED WITH SOLUTIONS FOR HOW TO START AND SUSTAIN PRODUCTIVE FAMILY TALKS ABOUT TECHNOLOGY AND IT’S IMPACT ON OUR MENTAL WELLBEING.
