Yes, I’m talking about the topic of sex.
Part of being a doctor involves, at times, asking patients about their “sexual history.” I generally start by asking, ”Are you sexually active?” If they say yes, I ask, “Is this with males, females, or both?”
Taking a sexual history in my clinic has become second nature to me. Yet, what I find interesting is that it is one thing to be a trained physician who talks with thousands of patients over the years, but it is quite another trying to talk about sex with my own two kids.
Raising topics around sexuality is, to varying degrees, uncomfortable. Yet, I believe our digital age makes having uncomfortable conversations paramount. In my films, Screenagers and Screenagers Next Chapter, audiences have seen me struggle with uncomfortable discussions with my kids.
I know that not giving up and continuing to raise uncomfortable topics with my kids over the years has paid off. When I bring up issues repeatedly over time, I signal to them that I can handle talking about these things. They know they can come to me with questions and concerns about personal issues, including intimate relations.
Talking for years with teens about sexuality in my clinic, I know that many teens do not have someone with whom they feel comfortable discussing these issues.
Boys in particular, including my son, have shared with me how uncomfortable they would feel talking with a friend about any sexuality-related issues, whether it’s about something going on with a current partner, a one-night stand, or a crush.
It’s a gift to kids of all ages when we calmly and non-judgmentally raise topics related to sexuality and let them know we care and are here for them.
Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
Learn more about our Screen-Free Sleep campaign at the website!
Our movie made for parents and educators of younger kids
Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!
Some will be appropriate for both age groups, and some will just make sense for those who are a bit older.
Take bighorn sheep, for example. Male sheep predominantly hang together, and female sheep stay together, except when both genders get together to procreate. However, this doesn’t happen often. It turns out that the male bighorn sheep have sex with each other quite regularly. Researchers believe this may be a way that animals are creating more cohesion among the group. Check out this video of Schrefer on the Daily Show to learn more.
Bringing up this book and video are wonderful ways to normalize same-sex relationships and practices among animals, including humans.
While studies that look at the intersection between pornography, masturbation, and erectile dysfunction are few and far between, some data shows at least somewhat of a link between porn over-consumption and erectile dysfunction (almost all the data is regarding males 18 and older). The reported prevalence of ED (erectile dysfunction) in young men has increased enormously over the last decades, from 2 percent to 5 percent from 1999 to 2002 to more recent studies that report a rate of 20% to 30%.
This can be a tricky thing to bring up, but sharing some of this data might be interesting to your teen. Sharing data makes room for you to bring up important information without directly implicating your teen and sometimes allows for more vulnerability in following conversations.
Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
Learn more about our Screen-Free Sleep campaign at the website!
Our movie made for parents and educators of younger kids
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
Consider having a conversation with your child about the types of jokes frequently made in their favorite TV shows.
The interesting thing is kids often don’t notice the multitude of sexual references, but if you watch an episode with them after mentioning the issue of how often sex is referenced, very quickly everyone in the room realizes how often these references are made.
Through the jokes and the little remarks scattered through mainstream shows, viewers are subtly taught how to act and feel about sex. No one likes to think they are influenced by what they see and hear, but the fact is we are influenced.This can ignite a larger conversation about sex in our society and what might be contributing to what we think about things.
With TikTok’s massive popularity, dancing is more pervasive in the media than ever.
You might ask your kid: “I’ve been thinking about dance videos — even if they are not trying to be really sexy, the truth is, they can be. Given this is happening on a mass scale, what do you think the implications are?”
Kudos to all of us who step into these challenging conversations. It is NOT easy, but as I said, sex is everywhere online. So let’s help our kids out and learn how to get comfortable with these uncomfortable topics.
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Yes, I’m talking about the topic of sex.
Part of being a doctor involves, at times, asking patients about their “sexual history.” I generally start by asking, ”Are you sexually active?” If they say yes, I ask, “Is this with males, females, or both?”
Taking a sexual history in my clinic has become second nature to me. Yet, what I find interesting is that it is one thing to be a trained physician who talks with thousands of patients over the years, but it is quite another trying to talk about sex with my own two kids.
Raising topics around sexuality is, to varying degrees, uncomfortable. Yet, I believe our digital age makes having uncomfortable conversations paramount. In my films, Screenagers and Screenagers Next Chapter, audiences have seen me struggle with uncomfortable discussions with my kids.
I know that not giving up and continuing to raise uncomfortable topics with my kids over the years has paid off. When I bring up issues repeatedly over time, I signal to them that I can handle talking about these things. They know they can come to me with questions and concerns about personal issues, including intimate relations.
Talking for years with teens about sexuality in my clinic, I know that many teens do not have someone with whom they feel comfortable discussing these issues.
Boys in particular, including my son, have shared with me how uncomfortable they would feel talking with a friend about any sexuality-related issues, whether it’s about something going on with a current partner, a one-night stand, or a crush.
It’s a gift to kids of all ages when we calmly and non-judgmentally raise topics related to sexuality and let them know we care and are here for them.
Some will be appropriate for both age groups, and some will just make sense for those who are a bit older.
Take bighorn sheep, for example. Male sheep predominantly hang together, and female sheep stay together, except when both genders get together to procreate. However, this doesn’t happen often. It turns out that the male bighorn sheep have sex with each other quite regularly. Researchers believe this may be a way that animals are creating more cohesion among the group. Check out this video of Schrefer on the Daily Show to learn more.
Bringing up this book and video are wonderful ways to normalize same-sex relationships and practices among animals, including humans.
While studies that look at the intersection between pornography, masturbation, and erectile dysfunction are few and far between, some data shows at least somewhat of a link between porn over-consumption and erectile dysfunction (almost all the data is regarding males 18 and older). The reported prevalence of ED (erectile dysfunction) in young men has increased enormously over the last decades, from 2 percent to 5 percent from 1999 to 2002 to more recent studies that report a rate of 20% to 30%.
This can be a tricky thing to bring up, but sharing some of this data might be interesting to your teen. Sharing data makes room for you to bring up important information without directly implicating your teen and sometimes allows for more vulnerability in following conversations.
Consider having a conversation with your child about the types of jokes frequently made in their favorite TV shows.
The interesting thing is kids often don’t notice the multitude of sexual references, but if you watch an episode with them after mentioning the issue of how often sex is referenced, very quickly everyone in the room realizes how often these references are made.
Through the jokes and the little remarks scattered through mainstream shows, viewers are subtly taught how to act and feel about sex. No one likes to think they are influenced by what they see and hear, but the fact is we are influenced.This can ignite a larger conversation about sex in our society and what might be contributing to what we think about things.
With TikTok’s massive popularity, dancing is more pervasive in the media than ever.
You might ask your kid: “I’ve been thinking about dance videos — even if they are not trying to be really sexy, the truth is, they can be. Given this is happening on a mass scale, what do you think the implications are?”
Kudos to all of us who step into these challenging conversations. It is NOT easy, but as I said, sex is everywhere online. So let’s help our kids out and learn how to get comfortable with these uncomfortable topics.
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Yes, I’m talking about the topic of sex.
Part of being a doctor involves, at times, asking patients about their “sexual history.” I generally start by asking, ”Are you sexually active?” If they say yes, I ask, “Is this with males, females, or both?”
Taking a sexual history in my clinic has become second nature to me. Yet, what I find interesting is that it is one thing to be a trained physician who talks with thousands of patients over the years, but it is quite another trying to talk about sex with my own two kids.
Raising topics around sexuality is, to varying degrees, uncomfortable. Yet, I believe our digital age makes having uncomfortable conversations paramount. In my films, Screenagers and Screenagers Next Chapter, audiences have seen me struggle with uncomfortable discussions with my kids.
I know that not giving up and continuing to raise uncomfortable topics with my kids over the years has paid off. When I bring up issues repeatedly over time, I signal to them that I can handle talking about these things. They know they can come to me with questions and concerns about personal issues, including intimate relations.
Talking for years with teens about sexuality in my clinic, I know that many teens do not have someone with whom they feel comfortable discussing these issues.
Boys in particular, including my son, have shared with me how uncomfortable they would feel talking with a friend about any sexuality-related issues, whether it’s about something going on with a current partner, a one-night stand, or a crush.
It’s a gift to kids of all ages when we calmly and non-judgmentally raise topics related to sexuality and let them know we care and are here for them.
A new Louis Theroux documentary on Netflix exposes the growing network of online influencers pushing sexism, misogyny, and a narrow vision of masculinity on boys and young men. Combined with last year's hit series Adolescence, it is a wake-up call for parents. The good news: there is a lot we can do. This week, I round up our most relevant blogs and podcast episodes from recent months, covering everything from the "interrupter" technique to boys' mental health, phones in schools, online sports betting, pornography, and the manosphere's exploitation of boys' loneliness. The research is clear that parents who show up with curiosity, honesty, and consistency have more influence than they realize.
READ MORE >
When kids struggle with big emotions, many parents reach for a screen to keep the peace — but this can get in the way of children developing real coping skills. Drawing on research from Dr. Jenny Radesky, this post shares two practical strategies: using the Zones of Regulation color system to help kids name and process their feelings, and doing a toy swap with another parent to build your "vulnerable village" of support. Both approaches turn difficult screen-time moments into opportunities for emotional growth.
READ MORE >
When teens say they hate you, it often feels personal, but it may not truly be about you. Teens sometimes direct their overwhelming feelings toward the safest person in their life. Instead of responding with logic or backing down out of fear, check that your limits are fair, practice self-compassion, and focus on validation rather than correction. If conflict feels stuck, family counseling can help both sides feel heard and understood.
READ MORE >for more like this, DR. DELANEY RUSTON'S NEW BOOK, PARENTING IN THE SCREEN AGE, IS THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE FOR TODAY’S PARENTS. WITH INSIGHTS ON SCREEN TIME FROM RESEARCHERS, INPUT FROM KIDS & TEENS, THIS BOOK IS PACKED WITH SOLUTIONS FOR HOW TO START AND SUSTAIN PRODUCTIVE FAMILY TALKS ABOUT TECHNOLOGY AND IT’S IMPACT ON OUR MENTAL WELLBEING.
