Yes, I’m talking about the topic of sex.
Part of being a doctor involves, at times, asking patients about their “sexual history.” I generally start by asking, ”Are you sexually active?” If they say yes, I ask, “Is this with males, females, or both?”
Taking a sexual history in my clinic has become second nature to me. Yet, what I find interesting is that it is one thing to be a trained physician who talks with thousands of patients over the years, but it is quite another trying to talk about sex with my own two kids.
Raising topics around sexuality is, to varying degrees, uncomfortable. Yet, I believe our digital age makes having uncomfortable conversations paramount. In my films, Screenagers and Screenagers Next Chapter, audiences have seen me struggle with uncomfortable discussions with my kids.
I know that not giving up and continuing to raise uncomfortable topics with my kids over the years has paid off. When I bring up issues repeatedly over time, I signal to them that I can handle talking about these things. They know they can come to me with questions and concerns about personal issues, including intimate relations.
Talking for years with teens about sexuality in my clinic, I know that many teens do not have someone with whom they feel comfortable discussing these issues.
Boys in particular, including my son, have shared with me how uncomfortable they would feel talking with a friend about any sexuality-related issues, whether it’s about something going on with a current partner, a one-night stand, or a crush.
It’s a gift to kids of all ages when we calmly and non-judgmentally raise topics related to sexuality and let them know we care and are here for them.
Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
Learn more about our Screen-Free Sleep campaign at the website!
Our movie made for parents and educators of younger kids
Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!
Some will be appropriate for both age groups, and some will just make sense for those who are a bit older.
Take bighorn sheep, for example. Male sheep predominantly hang together, and female sheep stay together, except when both genders get together to procreate. However, this doesn’t happen often. It turns out that the male bighorn sheep have sex with each other quite regularly. Researchers believe this may be a way that animals are creating more cohesion among the group. Check out this video of Schrefer on the Daily Show to learn more.
Bringing up this book and video are wonderful ways to normalize same-sex relationships and practices among animals, including humans.
While studies that look at the intersection between pornography, masturbation, and erectile dysfunction are few and far between, some data shows at least somewhat of a link between porn over-consumption and erectile dysfunction (almost all the data is regarding males 18 and older). The reported prevalence of ED (erectile dysfunction) in young men has increased enormously over the last decades, from 2 percent to 5 percent from 1999 to 2002 to more recent studies that report a rate of 20% to 30%.
This can be a tricky thing to bring up, but sharing some of this data might be interesting to your teen. Sharing data makes room for you to bring up important information without directly implicating your teen and sometimes allows for more vulnerability in following conversations.
Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
Learn more about our Screen-Free Sleep campaign at the website!
Our movie made for parents and educators of younger kids
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
Consider having a conversation with your child about the types of jokes frequently made in their favorite TV shows.
The interesting thing is kids often don’t notice the multitude of sexual references, but if you watch an episode with them after mentioning the issue of how often sex is referenced, very quickly everyone in the room realizes how often these references are made.
Through the jokes and the little remarks scattered through mainstream shows, viewers are subtly taught how to act and feel about sex. No one likes to think they are influenced by what they see and hear, but the fact is we are influenced.This can ignite a larger conversation about sex in our society and what might be contributing to what we think about things.
With TikTok’s massive popularity, dancing is more pervasive in the media than ever.
You might ask your kid: “I’ve been thinking about dance videos — even if they are not trying to be really sexy, the truth is, they can be. Given this is happening on a mass scale, what do you think the implications are?”
Kudos to all of us who step into these challenging conversations. It is NOT easy, but as I said, sex is everywhere online. So let’s help our kids out and learn how to get comfortable with these uncomfortable topics.
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Yes, I’m talking about the topic of sex.
Part of being a doctor involves, at times, asking patients about their “sexual history.” I generally start by asking, ”Are you sexually active?” If they say yes, I ask, “Is this with males, females, or both?”
Taking a sexual history in my clinic has become second nature to me. Yet, what I find interesting is that it is one thing to be a trained physician who talks with thousands of patients over the years, but it is quite another trying to talk about sex with my own two kids.
Raising topics around sexuality is, to varying degrees, uncomfortable. Yet, I believe our digital age makes having uncomfortable conversations paramount. In my films, Screenagers and Screenagers Next Chapter, audiences have seen me struggle with uncomfortable discussions with my kids.
I know that not giving up and continuing to raise uncomfortable topics with my kids over the years has paid off. When I bring up issues repeatedly over time, I signal to them that I can handle talking about these things. They know they can come to me with questions and concerns about personal issues, including intimate relations.
Talking for years with teens about sexuality in my clinic, I know that many teens do not have someone with whom they feel comfortable discussing these issues.
Boys in particular, including my son, have shared with me how uncomfortable they would feel talking with a friend about any sexuality-related issues, whether it’s about something going on with a current partner, a one-night stand, or a crush.
It’s a gift to kids of all ages when we calmly and non-judgmentally raise topics related to sexuality and let them know we care and are here for them.
Some will be appropriate for both age groups, and some will just make sense for those who are a bit older.
Take bighorn sheep, for example. Male sheep predominantly hang together, and female sheep stay together, except when both genders get together to procreate. However, this doesn’t happen often. It turns out that the male bighorn sheep have sex with each other quite regularly. Researchers believe this may be a way that animals are creating more cohesion among the group. Check out this video of Schrefer on the Daily Show to learn more.
Bringing up this book and video are wonderful ways to normalize same-sex relationships and practices among animals, including humans.
While studies that look at the intersection between pornography, masturbation, and erectile dysfunction are few and far between, some data shows at least somewhat of a link between porn over-consumption and erectile dysfunction (almost all the data is regarding males 18 and older). The reported prevalence of ED (erectile dysfunction) in young men has increased enormously over the last decades, from 2 percent to 5 percent from 1999 to 2002 to more recent studies that report a rate of 20% to 30%.
This can be a tricky thing to bring up, but sharing some of this data might be interesting to your teen. Sharing data makes room for you to bring up important information without directly implicating your teen and sometimes allows for more vulnerability in following conversations.
Consider having a conversation with your child about the types of jokes frequently made in their favorite TV shows.
The interesting thing is kids often don’t notice the multitude of sexual references, but if you watch an episode with them after mentioning the issue of how often sex is referenced, very quickly everyone in the room realizes how often these references are made.
Through the jokes and the little remarks scattered through mainstream shows, viewers are subtly taught how to act and feel about sex. No one likes to think they are influenced by what they see and hear, but the fact is we are influenced.This can ignite a larger conversation about sex in our society and what might be contributing to what we think about things.
With TikTok’s massive popularity, dancing is more pervasive in the media than ever.
You might ask your kid: “I’ve been thinking about dance videos — even if they are not trying to be really sexy, the truth is, they can be. Given this is happening on a mass scale, what do you think the implications are?”
Kudos to all of us who step into these challenging conversations. It is NOT easy, but as I said, sex is everywhere online. So let’s help our kids out and learn how to get comfortable with these uncomfortable topics.
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Yes, I’m talking about the topic of sex.
Part of being a doctor involves, at times, asking patients about their “sexual history.” I generally start by asking, ”Are you sexually active?” If they say yes, I ask, “Is this with males, females, or both?”
Taking a sexual history in my clinic has become second nature to me. Yet, what I find interesting is that it is one thing to be a trained physician who talks with thousands of patients over the years, but it is quite another trying to talk about sex with my own two kids.
Raising topics around sexuality is, to varying degrees, uncomfortable. Yet, I believe our digital age makes having uncomfortable conversations paramount. In my films, Screenagers and Screenagers Next Chapter, audiences have seen me struggle with uncomfortable discussions with my kids.
I know that not giving up and continuing to raise uncomfortable topics with my kids over the years has paid off. When I bring up issues repeatedly over time, I signal to them that I can handle talking about these things. They know they can come to me with questions and concerns about personal issues, including intimate relations.
Talking for years with teens about sexuality in my clinic, I know that many teens do not have someone with whom they feel comfortable discussing these issues.
Boys in particular, including my son, have shared with me how uncomfortable they would feel talking with a friend about any sexuality-related issues, whether it’s about something going on with a current partner, a one-night stand, or a crush.
It’s a gift to kids of all ages when we calmly and non-judgmentally raise topics related to sexuality and let them know we care and are here for them.
Thoughtful family tech rules help protect kids’ wellbeing, learning, and sleep while strengthening connection at home. Using the fresh start of a new year, this post shares eight practical tech habits families can discuss and adapt together, including shared social media check-ins, screen time inventories, device-free meals, regular gaming breaks, and keeping phones out of bedrooms at night.
READ MORE >
Psychologist Jean Twenge explains how parental controls can support healthier tech use by protecting sleep, limiting late night device access, and reducing kids’ exposure to content they are not developmentally ready to handle. She discusses why third party parental control tools are often more effective and easier to use than built in options, while acknowledging that no system is perfect. Clear boundaries, combined with technology based limits, can reduce ongoing conflict and make screen time rules easier to enforce.
READ MORE >
for more like this, DR. DELANEY RUSTON'S NEW BOOK, PARENTING IN THE SCREEN AGE, IS THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE FOR TODAY’S PARENTS. WITH INSIGHTS ON SCREEN TIME FROM RESEARCHERS, INPUT FROM KIDS & TEENS, THIS BOOK IS PACKED WITH SOLUTIONS FOR HOW TO START AND SUSTAIN PRODUCTIVE FAMILY TALKS ABOUT TECHNOLOGY AND IT’S IMPACT ON OUR MENTAL WELLBEING.
