Thoughtful family tech rules help protect kids’ wellbeing, learning, and sleep while strengthening connection at home. Using the fresh start of a new year, this post shares eight practical tech habits families can discuss and adapt together, including shared social media check-ins, screen time inventories, device-free meals, regular gaming breaks, and keeping phones out of bedrooms at night.
Why have any screen time policies/rules for our kids anyway?
Devices provide endless entertainment, connection to others, relief from FOMO, a sense of competency that comes from leveling up in a game, and much more. But at a cost.
Allowing the “treat” side of tech (vs. the “tool” side) to consume our children’s time in excess is not in their best interest, nor in that of our families or schools. That’s why having policies/rules around tech is valuable and worth the work.
I am the last to claim that this is easy. You may know my personal story from Screenagers, where you saw me learning the hard way how critical it is to find ways to involve our kids in defining screen-time rules with us, vs. my initial, more top-down techniques.
At times, your kids may want to refrain from participating. But don’t give up. Make sure you have some protected time to talk about science, love, and all the reasons why this is important.
Katherine Milkman, a researcher and author of How To Change, has found that people are particularly motivated to change behaviors after a “fresh start,” such as the New Year or the start of a new month.
As humans, we love the idea of a clean slate.
Below are eight examples to consider talking about with your kids and making some decisions.
As a parent, you may need to make some executive decisions if you can’t agree on things together.
Finally, deciding on policies depends on many things, like your child’s age, so I’ve provided different variations.
This involves having your teen scroll on their social media for a few minutes while you sit with them. You get to see what comes up, and you don’t react or critique, just observe.
And then, a day or two later, you can reconvene to debrief a bit.
Not to be judgmental or mad, but to think together about some messages and dynamics you both noticed on your teen's social media.
Pointer: Try to schedule a day, like the first of each month, when this will occur regularly.
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Conducting a family screen time inventory
a. Agree on a time to share findings, such as at two dinners from now
b. Determine the method for tracking screen time that works best:
c. Each family member records their own screen time using the chosen method.
d. At the agreed time, share findings with the rest of the family and discuss.
You may have existing rules at home that allow for more overall play time, but try to ensure sessions are broken up with regular breaks.
For example, after using TikTok for 20 minutes, maybe they can help with cooking for the same amount of time.
If eating alone, devices are okay. But encourage mindfulness around the types of content. What would nourish the mind, in the way food nourishes the body?
I.e., when making dinner and while cleaning up after dinner, creating the space for conversations to thrive in a communal setting.
This is one of the biggest things parents can do to protect and improve kids’ wellbeing.
Our Screen-Free Sleep campaign website addresses this in more detail, but over half of teens get less than 7 hours of sleep most nights, leaving them tired and contributing to worsening school performance and mental health.
Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
Learn more about our Screen-Free Sleep campaign at the website!
Our movie made for parents and educators of younger kids
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We add new videos regularly and you'll find over 100 videos covering parenting advice, guidance, podcasts, movie clips and more. Here's our most recent:
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Why have any screen time policies/rules for our kids anyway?
Devices provide endless entertainment, connection to others, relief from FOMO, a sense of competency that comes from leveling up in a game, and much more. But at a cost.
Allowing the “treat” side of tech (vs. the “tool” side) to consume our children’s time in excess is not in their best interest, nor in that of our families or schools. That’s why having policies/rules around tech is valuable and worth the work.
I am the last to claim that this is easy. You may know my personal story from Screenagers, where you saw me learning the hard way how critical it is to find ways to involve our kids in defining screen-time rules with us, vs. my initial, more top-down techniques.
At times, your kids may want to refrain from participating. But don’t give up. Make sure you have some protected time to talk about science, love, and all the reasons why this is important.
Katherine Milkman, a researcher and author of How To Change, has found that people are particularly motivated to change behaviors after a “fresh start,” such as the New Year or the start of a new month.
As humans, we love the idea of a clean slate.
Below are eight examples to consider talking about with your kids and making some decisions.
As a parent, you may need to make some executive decisions if you can’t agree on things together.
Finally, deciding on policies depends on many things, like your child’s age, so I’ve provided different variations.
This involves having your teen scroll on their social media for a few minutes while you sit with them. You get to see what comes up, and you don’t react or critique, just observe.
And then, a day or two later, you can reconvene to debrief a bit.
Not to be judgmental or mad, but to think together about some messages and dynamics you both noticed on your teen's social media.
Pointer: Try to schedule a day, like the first of each month, when this will occur regularly.
Conducting a family screen time inventory
a. Agree on a time to share findings, such as at two dinners from now
b. Determine the method for tracking screen time that works best:
c. Each family member records their own screen time using the chosen method.
d. At the agreed time, share findings with the rest of the family and discuss.
You may have existing rules at home that allow for more overall play time, but try to ensure sessions are broken up with regular breaks.
For example, after using TikTok for 20 minutes, maybe they can help with cooking for the same amount of time.
If eating alone, devices are okay. But encourage mindfulness around the types of content. What would nourish the mind, in the way food nourishes the body?
I.e., when making dinner and while cleaning up after dinner, creating the space for conversations to thrive in a communal setting.
This is one of the biggest things parents can do to protect and improve kids’ wellbeing.
Our Screen-Free Sleep campaign website addresses this in more detail, but over half of teens get less than 7 hours of sleep most nights, leaving them tired and contributing to worsening school performance and mental health.
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We add new videos regularly and you'll find over 100 videos covering parenting advice, guidance, podcasts, movie clips and more. Here's our most recent:
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Why have any screen time policies/rules for our kids anyway?
Devices provide endless entertainment, connection to others, relief from FOMO, a sense of competency that comes from leveling up in a game, and much more. But at a cost.
Allowing the “treat” side of tech (vs. the “tool” side) to consume our children’s time in excess is not in their best interest, nor in that of our families or schools. That’s why having policies/rules around tech is valuable and worth the work.
I am the last to claim that this is easy. You may know my personal story from Screenagers, where you saw me learning the hard way how critical it is to find ways to involve our kids in defining screen-time rules with us, vs. my initial, more top-down techniques.
At times, your kids may want to refrain from participating. But don’t give up. Make sure you have some protected time to talk about science, love, and all the reasons why this is important.
Katherine Milkman, a researcher and author of How To Change, has found that people are particularly motivated to change behaviors after a “fresh start,” such as the New Year or the start of a new month.
As humans, we love the idea of a clean slate.
Below are eight examples to consider talking about with your kids and making some decisions.
As a parent, you may need to make some executive decisions if you can’t agree on things together.
Finally, deciding on policies depends on many things, like your child’s age, so I’ve provided different variations.
This involves having your teen scroll on their social media for a few minutes while you sit with them. You get to see what comes up, and you don’t react or critique, just observe.
And then, a day or two later, you can reconvene to debrief a bit.
Not to be judgmental or mad, but to think together about some messages and dynamics you both noticed on your teen's social media.
Pointer: Try to schedule a day, like the first of each month, when this will occur regularly.
Psychologist Jean Twenge explains how parental controls can support healthier tech use by protecting sleep, limiting late night device access, and reducing kids’ exposure to content they are not developmentally ready to handle. She discusses why third party parental control tools are often more effective and easier to use than built in options, while acknowledging that no system is perfect. Clear boundaries, combined with technology based limits, can reduce ongoing conflict and make screen time rules easier to enforce.
READ MORE >
Parenting in this digital age is full of challenges. I imagine many of you are nodding in agreement. And when we look for advice online, it can feel like a sea of perfect experts with perfect advice: “Just follow these three easy steps and everything will fall into place.” In this week’s blog, I share a story about a moment with my daughter Tessa that did not go quite as planned but ended up teaching us both something important.
READ MORE >for more like this, DR. DELANEY RUSTON'S NEW BOOK, PARENTING IN THE SCREEN AGE, IS THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE FOR TODAY’S PARENTS. WITH INSIGHTS ON SCREEN TIME FROM RESEARCHERS, INPUT FROM KIDS & TEENS, THIS BOOK IS PACKED WITH SOLUTIONS FOR HOW TO START AND SUSTAIN PRODUCTIVE FAMILY TALKS ABOUT TECHNOLOGY AND IT’S IMPACT ON OUR MENTAL WELLBEING.
