Mental Health

"Why Am I Feeling This Way?” Teen Mental Health Misconceptions

Delaney Ruston, MD
October 3, 2023
Teen girl looking upset and looking out the window

A common misconception persists in teenage mental health: Mental health problems primarily come from something happening to a person, i.e., external experiences. 

But the reality is far more complex, and as a result, many teens find themselves grappling with an unnecessary burden. 

This blog post aims to shed light on an often-overlooked aspect of mental health among adolescents.

The truth is that mental health problems often come from inside, without any obvious triggers from external factors. It’s genetics at work causing different biological changes, leading to emotions and thoughts creating havoc in their young selves.

Our current discussions about rising mental health problems starting around 2011 — which have been significantly fueled by (but not only caused by) the downsides of our tech revolution — means that it makes it seem that outside factors cause all mental health problems.

And yet, this narrative can add an extra burden for youth experiencing mental health problems. 

I have heard the following types of statements from numerous teens over the years.

“I don’t even know why I am feeling so depressed for all these months. I mean, my family is great, I have friends, nothing bad has happened. I just feel so bad. I feel so unappreciative. Why can't I just be happy?  I hate myself.”

There are many youth who are experiencing clinical problems which have little to do with outside events. 

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Seeking Reasons

Teens, like everyone else, want explanations for their emotions and thoughts. They yearn for a reason behind what they're experiencing. As someone in the mental health field, I've often encountered this desire for answers. It's important to help them understand that their emotions and thoughts can sometimes be like a runaway train, auto-piloting, and auto-firing in unhelpful ways due to internal factors influenced by genetics.

External Factors Matter, but Not Always

Certainly, where and how teenagers live can significantly affect their mental well-being. External factors like what is happening socially or in the home matter but only sometimes tell the whole story. Acknowledging that mental health challenges don't always require a concrete reason is crucial.

Helping with Unwarranted Guilt

One troubling consequence of this misconception is that it results in unwarranted guilt and shame. Teens frequently feel guilty for their struggles, thinking, "I should be doing better" or "I have no reason to feel this way." This self-loathing and self-blame only exacerbate their mental health issues.

Talking about the idea of unwarranted guilt and shame is key. It is not to dismiss the guilt or shame feelings they are having. Let them know we can’t just magically stop feelings from happening. Validate the feeling by saying something like, ”I hear you, hun. You are feeling bad about having these feelings as if you are to blame. It is really hard to be feeling that. I am here for you.”

Then it is key to move into helping them to understand the concept of unwarranted vs warranted guilt and shame. An example of unwarranted guilt or shame is when a person feels bad because they are depressed for "no reason" and they feel embarrassed and disappointed in themselves.

Now let's look at the idea of warranted guilt. The feeling of guilt, for example, would be warranted if a person does something that is not aligned with their values, such as steal from a store or a friend.  Here is a past blog that examines guilt and shame  in more detail.

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Preparing the Next Generation

As parents, educators, and mentors, it's our duty to impart this understanding to our young ones that many genetic factors are at play in causing mild to severe mental health issues, including learning challenges and more. 

While many kids might not personally experience clinical behavioral or mental health problems, having some understanding of internal causes at play can better equip them to help their friends and loved ones. 

This framework, this truth, is often absent from media discourse on mental health, but it's an essential part of the puzzle.

Questions to get the conversation started:

1. Do you ever feel bad about yourself when you experience emotional struggles, thinking you shouldn’t feel this way because everything seems fine externally? How do you usually cope with those feelings? 

2. Have you ever felt frustrated or confused because you couldn’t pinpoint an external reason for your mental health struggles? 

3. There are lots of news articles about the many ways that screen time can be harmful to youth mental health. Do we think that news coverage can lead to a false impression that all mental health problems are externally caused? 

Here is a video from the Screenagers YouTube Channel that talks more about this subject

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Mental Health

"Why Am I Feeling This Way?” Teen Mental Health Misconceptions

Delaney Ruston, MD
October 3, 2023
Teen girl looking upset and looking out the window

A common misconception persists in teenage mental health: Mental health problems primarily come from something happening to a person, i.e., external experiences. 

But the reality is far more complex, and as a result, many teens find themselves grappling with an unnecessary burden. 

This blog post aims to shed light on an often-overlooked aspect of mental health among adolescents.

The truth is that mental health problems often come from inside, without any obvious triggers from external factors. It’s genetics at work causing different biological changes, leading to emotions and thoughts creating havoc in their young selves.

Our current discussions about rising mental health problems starting around 2011 — which have been significantly fueled by (but not only caused by) the downsides of our tech revolution — means that it makes it seem that outside factors cause all mental health problems.

And yet, this narrative can add an extra burden for youth experiencing mental health problems. 

I have heard the following types of statements from numerous teens over the years.

“I don’t even know why I am feeling so depressed for all these months. I mean, my family is great, I have friends, nothing bad has happened. I just feel so bad. I feel so unappreciative. Why can't I just be happy?  I hate myself.”

There are many youth who are experiencing clinical problems which have little to do with outside events. 

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