It is Mental Health Awareness Month, which is a perfect time to talk about an under-discussed topic: counseling and therapy for teens. Therapy is one tool that can be very helpful in addressing problems in a young person’s life, especially now, with mental health issues at a higher level over the past 10-plus years, partly linked to screen time issues.

One thing we talked about is how hard it is to find therapy when you need it, and to afford it. Yes, and that’s awful. I’ve spent 20 years advocating for better mental health access.

That is an important topic to be discussed another day. Here, I want to highlight one of the many topics I discussed with Laura Kastner, PhD — author of Wise-Minded Parenting and an adolescent and family therapist with over 30 years of experience — in the podcast episode that dropped yesterday, Screen Time, Teens, and Therapy: What Parents Need to Know.

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Listen Here: Apple Podcasts // Spotify // Castbox // YouTube // Website

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In the podcast, we discuss questions like when to turn to a school counselor versus a therapist, what makes therapy truly effective, how counseling can help when a teen is languishing and glued to their screens, and so much more.

In today’s blog, I focus on the family’s role, beyond the teen, in the therapy process. This is an important topic because there’s a widespread myth that therapy should be a private, walled-off space just for the teen and their therapist, with no family involvement. The idea is that real progress happens only within that sacred one-on-one relationship, and that teens shouldn’t have to worry about their family being part of the process. But that’s a misconception.

Also, Mental Health Awareness Month is partly about advocacy, and I want to make a tiny call to action: Take the topic of therapy out of the shadows.

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Advocacy around mental health is helping bring it out of the shadows. More people are talking openly about therapy, though it's still important to choose carefully with whom they share. It’s valuable to frame therapy as a helpful tool, especially when the therapist actively helps problem-solve, not just listens passively while the patient ruminates.

In Screenagers Next Chapter, addressing mental health in the digital age, one story is about my daughter, Tessa, and her struggles with depression. Over time, we were able to find Tessa a very effective therapist. In the podcast, you hear a scene from the film featuring Tessa and me doing family therapy with her therapist. Yes, Tessa was completely fine with this being in the film. She launched into her own mental health advocacy with the release of her film, which was incredibly helpful to her.

So, the call to action —talking about therapy, such as something you learn from the blog or podcast, or something from your own experience — helps people better understand how useful it can be. What a gift.

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Some important insights from the podcast: 

Why family participation is important.

Dr. Kastner explains that a harmful myth is the "Dry Cleaner Model" — the idea that you can simply drop off a struggling child at therapy and expect them to come back "fixed." In reality, if a child is anxious, depressed, or having suicidal thoughts, the whole family is affected and must be involved in the healing process. Families need guidance, just like they would with any serious illness, to learn how to support the child at home, especially in encouraging them to face challenges rather than avoid them. Therapy alone isn’t enough; it takes a family effort.

Be wary of a therapist who is not insistent on a family approach.

Laura Kastner says, "But the thing that really raises my hackles is when the teenager says, I don't want them involved, and the practitioner listens to the child with depression. No, parents should always be involved. This is their baby. This is their precious child. And there are all sorts of things around withdrawal with depression, which make a conundrum for the parents. They want to be empathic to their child who is depressed. But they don't want to follow directions, okay, let's not do anything and let you stay home from school in your bed.” I cannot emphasize enough how important it is for family members to learn how to help a struggling teen. 

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Questions to get the conversation started with your group or family:

1. When we think of “therapy,” what do we imagine happening in a therapy session?
2. As a parent, have you ever been in counseling or therapy, and have you talked with your teen about this? Perhaps now is a good time to do so, if not.
3. What are some benefits you can discuss about having family involved when a teen is going through a hard time and is in therapy?

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