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I have been thinking about ways jobs can help us feel better about ourselves. When my family and I hang out with other families, I often ask the adults what jobs they had when they were teens. I also ask the kids if they have had jobs.

Then, I delve deeper with these kinds of questions: 

• What job as a kid made you feel good?
• What job helped you feel a bit more sure of yourself?
• What job kept you out of trouble?
• Did an employer ever give you helpful advice? 

As our kids consider working this summer, now is the time to talk about the upsides of these experiences, including the mental health upsides! 

My daughter just finished her second year of college and is actively seeking a summer job. You go, girl, you’ve got this.

I told her today’s blog’s theme, and she immediately told me that jobs have helped her “have a purpose and that they have “definitely helped” her mental health. 

When I was a teen, I worked at a clothing store called Yarmo on Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley,  The boss, Kathleen, was someone I looked up to. She was incredibly personable with me and the other workers while also holding us to high work standards. I remember feeling such a kick out of being entrusted with many responsibilities.  

Something else I appreciate about my years working with Kathleen was that she made me feel better about my family. My dad had schizophrenia and spent much of his time wandering on Telegraph Ave. … and I never knew what shape he would be in when he came into the store. No matter how my dad appeared, I always knew Kathleen would greet him with an incredibly kind welcome. That meant so much to me. 

In Screenagers Under The Influence, there is a wonderful scene where 21-year-old Elijah goes to see his past boss, Ja’Mal, to thank him for the years he spent working for him in his hair salon.

Earlier in the film, we learn that starting in middle school, Elijah faced many emotional struggles, including dealing with lots of negative self-talk, which he says was made worse by Instagram.  One of the ways he coped with his sadness was to hang out with older kids, and with them he would drink a lot of alcohol, which made him feel “cool.” 

The clip above is from the film when Elijah meets with Ja’ mal, and they discussed when Elijah started working there at 13. 

Ja’Mal: “When he first started working for me. He didn't know what to do. He had no clue of like, working. The phone would ring, and you would just stand there, and I’d have to say, answer the phone.”

Elijah: “It was really fascinating and opened my mind to a lot of stuff. When you would just sit me down and just honestly let me exist in your space and learn from you.”

Ja’Mal: “I always wanted to keep you existing, and I was trying to let you know that it's not always good. Exciting.”

Elijah: “You know, one of the things you helped me with most was redefining my friend groups and figuring out what type of people I wanted to surround myself with. And what energy I was looking for.”

Ja’Mal laughs and says he would say: “Don't follow those fools.”

Elijah: “Yeah, exactly. You brought that conversation into my head, and you brought it forth when otherwise, I don't think I would have been talking to myself too much about those kinds of ideas.”

Ja’mal: “That's amazing.”

Idea: in celebration of Mental Health Awareness Month, pick one action below, and after you do it, share what you did with your child or students 

• Reach out to a past boss and thank them for helping to boost your mental well-being all those years ago. (I am jazzed to ping Kathleen and let my kids know what I told her.)

• Reach out to a past boss and give them one or two examples of things you appreciated about your time with them.

• Make a list of the surprising ways a job you had as a kid made you feel better.

• Share the clip in this blog and use it as a way to discuss the connections that jobs can create.

Questions to get the conversation started:

1. With summer coming, what job or volunteering ideas might be fun?
2. Guess how many jobs your parent (s) had as a kid? 
3. How has a job helped any of you feel a sense of purpose?