One of the main ways that I stay grounded while raising emerging adults during our tech revolution is by reminding myself of the power of values. No matter what is happening with my kids' time on screens — including exposure to yucky stuff like upsetting media, unappealing role models, manipulative ads, and on and on — I know that my immediate family, our extended family, and friends, are often modeling and talking about positive values. And those values seep into my kids and will guide them through life.
My job is to live the values as much as possible. That lets my kids experience these values, all the while developing their own as well. A key value of mine is that "I want to parent with integrity." If I know if there is something that scientifically shows an improvement in wellbeing, I work as hard as I can to make sure that happens. When I use this as a framework for doing things like setting a rule around devices out of the bedroom at night for ensuring sleep, I am acting with integrity by making sure this one rule is employed. (As an aside, I recommend this book by Matthew Walker Why We Sleep. It has inspired people I know to make changes in their lives.)
Yesterday Tessa came to hug me goodbye when she was leaving for school. She saw I was reading Real Change, and she joined me for a minute. Real Change is a paper that people, many of whom are experiencing homelessness and other life struggles, sell on the streets around Seattle. They keep the proceeds from each sale (after giving a small portion to Real Change). We enjoy buying this paper and talking with the vendors. As Tessa sat with me, we read our favorite part, which is where they interview one of the vendors. This man had worked in landscaping and became paralyzed. He talked about his life on the streets, overcoming addiction, and now having a place to live. Also, he mentions getting his dog from the animal shelter, which he clearly loves a lot. After reading his story, Tessa and I both looked at each other, and Tessa said, "I'm teary-eyed," and I said, "So am I."
It has felt so incredibly important to me, over the years, to convey to my kids that being a caring person is the crux of a meaningful life. Interacting with people of all backgrounds, with an open heart, is one of the best joys of life. Realizing that when we open up to authentic conversations, we find we are more similar than different and that we generally want the same things in life.
A 2017 study published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence offers some insight. Researchers surveyed more than 500 middle school students from a high-achieving school and asked them to rank the values their parents prioritized. The researchers found that adolescents who believed that both of their parents valued character traits as much as, or more than, achievement exhibited better outcomes at school, greater mental health, and less rule-breaking behavior than their peers who believed their parents were primarily achievement-minded.
So what values have helped guide me in thinking about screen time limits for my teens? Three of the dozens of these values is something I came up with that I call "The 3 C’s" of values. They are the things I want to make sure my kids get in "real life" and, on screens as well.
"3 C's": CREATIVITY, COMPETENCY, COMMUNICATION
For this TTT, talk about your values and how they relate to screen time. Consider discussing the "3 C's." Here are a few questions to get the conversation going:
If you want to host a screening of the movie in your community, please fill out this form.
Take a look here to see if there’s a screening near you.
*We would love for you to share this TTT any way that works for you, whether that’s on social media or via a newsletter. If you want to send it out in your newsletter we just ask that you credit us and link to our website, and let us know at lisa@screenagersmovie.com.
Stay in touch with the Screenagers community on Facebook, Twitter and leave comments below.
As well as our weekly blog, we publish videos like this one every week on the Screenagers YouTube channel
One of the main ways that I stay grounded while raising emerging adults during our tech revolution is by reminding myself of the power of values. No matter what is happening with my kids' time on screens — including exposure to yucky stuff like upsetting media, unappealing role models, manipulative ads, and on and on — I know that my immediate family, our extended family, and friends, are often modeling and talking about positive values. And those values seep into my kids and will guide them through life.
My job is to live the values as much as possible. That lets my kids experience these values, all the while developing their own as well. A key value of mine is that "I want to parent with integrity." If I know if there is something that scientifically shows an improvement in wellbeing, I work as hard as I can to make sure that happens. When I use this as a framework for doing things like setting a rule around devices out of the bedroom at night for ensuring sleep, I am acting with integrity by making sure this one rule is employed. (As an aside, I recommend this book by Matthew Walker Why We Sleep. It has inspired people I know to make changes in their lives.)
Yesterday Tessa came to hug me goodbye when she was leaving for school. She saw I was reading Real Change, and she joined me for a minute. Real Change is a paper that people, many of whom are experiencing homelessness and other life struggles, sell on the streets around Seattle. They keep the proceeds from each sale (after giving a small portion to Real Change). We enjoy buying this paper and talking with the vendors. As Tessa sat with me, we read our favorite part, which is where they interview one of the vendors. This man had worked in landscaping and became paralyzed. He talked about his life on the streets, overcoming addiction, and now having a place to live. Also, he mentions getting his dog from the animal shelter, which he clearly loves a lot. After reading his story, Tessa and I both looked at each other, and Tessa said, "I'm teary-eyed," and I said, "So am I."
It has felt so incredibly important to me, over the years, to convey to my kids that being a caring person is the crux of a meaningful life. Interacting with people of all backgrounds, with an open heart, is one of the best joys of life. Realizing that when we open up to authentic conversations, we find we are more similar than different and that we generally want the same things in life.
A 2017 study published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence offers some insight. Researchers surveyed more than 500 middle school students from a high-achieving school and asked them to rank the values their parents prioritized. The researchers found that adolescents who believed that both of their parents valued character traits as much as, or more than, achievement exhibited better outcomes at school, greater mental health, and less rule-breaking behavior than their peers who believed their parents were primarily achievement-minded.
So what values have helped guide me in thinking about screen time limits for my teens? Three of the dozens of these values is something I came up with that I call "The 3 C’s" of values. They are the things I want to make sure my kids get in "real life" and, on screens as well.
"3 C's": CREATIVITY, COMPETENCY, COMMUNICATION
For this TTT, talk about your values and how they relate to screen time. Consider discussing the "3 C's." Here are a few questions to get the conversation going:
If you want to host a screening of the movie in your community, please fill out this form.
Take a look here to see if there’s a screening near you.
*We would love for you to share this TTT any way that works for you, whether that’s on social media or via a newsletter. If you want to send it out in your newsletter we just ask that you credit us and link to our website, and let us know at lisa@screenagersmovie.com.
Stay in touch with the Screenagers community on Facebook, Twitter and leave comments below.
As well as our weekly blog, we publish videos like this one every week on the Screenagers YouTube channel
This week marks a big milestone — the 500th edition of our Tech Talk Tuesday blog! If you had told me nearly ten years ago I’d still be writing these, I might not have believed you. But here we are — and it’s because of you. The fact that this community kept showing up and growing week after week is the greatest gift. Your support has been a constant motivation for me and the whole Screenagers team.
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Recently, the Netflix series Adolescence became one of the platform’s most-watched limited series. It tells the fictional story of a 13-year-old boy whose descent into online misogyny and emotional isolation ends in tragedy. I’ve heard from many parents who watched it in one sitting — and others who said, “I can’t bear to watch, but I want to understand what it’s about.” Today I share some of the most important takeaways for parents from the show.
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Spring breaks have begun around the country. It is the perfect time to address this topic: how do we encourage self-efficacy and independence in our kids and teens, given the many obstacles to doing so? Obstacles such as their desire to stay inside and consume (video games, YouTube, shows, social media, etc.) or parents’ fears around letting kids do things out in the world alone.
READ MORE >for more like this, DR. DELANEY RUSTON'S NEW BOOK, PARENTING IN THE SCREEN AGE, IS THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE FOR TODAY’S PARENTS. WITH INSIGHTS ON SCREEN TIME FROM RESEARCHERS, INPUT FROM KIDS & TEENS, THIS BOOK IS PACKED WITH SOLUTIONS FOR HOW TO START AND SUSTAIN PRODUCTIVE FAMILY TALKS ABOUT TECHNOLOGY AND IT’S IMPACT ON OUR MENTAL WELLBEING.
