Quick Pledge update: It was wonderful having so many people sign up for our Pledge to make one tiny screen time change. I pledged not to go on my computer for work after dinner for a week. (Normally, I always have some nights screen-free but not usually seven days). As part of the pledge, I talked to my kids about my goal. My daughter liked my goal and the whole idea of “because” and “instead.” Thinking of all you fellow Pledgers kept me on track! I would love to know how things went for you — please email me at delaney@screenagersmovie.com, and with your permission, I will do a future blog of people’s goals (not with anyone’s names). By the way, there is still time to do the Pledge.
Today I feel it’s paramount to talk about our kids’ current shaken-up social worlds. Many parents are telling me that their children are languishing when it comes to having in-person social activities. Yes, there is more in-person school, but many youth still feel lonely, unseen, and unsure of things.
This can be so tricky for us parents — especially when our kids are teens. The last thing we want to do is helicopter parenting. That said, we, as parents, should be applying scaffolding and can experiment with trying to help in different ways. The type of help will vary depending on our kid’s ages and situations, but I want to make sure we are all aware that there is a role for our social engineering at times.
Let me reiterate, this is tricky and won’t always go well. If you’ve seen Screenagers NEXT CHAPTER, you may recall when my daughter called me out for having contacted the debate team, hoping to get info in a way that could entice her to join the club. That sure backfired!
But that said, there are far more times than I, or my husband, have actively helped with social engineering, for which our kids have thanked us. Over the years, I have spoken with many psychologists who work with youth about all the ways they coach the parents in skillful social engineering.
Remember, a little can go a long way-- even just one good social encounter in a week can have a significant positive impact.
Remember, if things backfire, as they will at times, your intentions are goodSo if you hear something like, “Oh mom, how could you?!” Own it. Say something like, “Yep, I agree that didn't go so well. My intentions came from love, but I take full ownership that it was not a great idea on my end.”
As well as our weekly blog, we publish videos like this one every week on the Screenagers YouTube channel
Quick Pledge update: It was wonderful having so many people sign up for our Pledge to make one tiny screen time change. I pledged not to go on my computer for work after dinner for a week. (Normally, I always have some nights screen-free but not usually seven days). As part of the pledge, I talked to my kids about my goal. My daughter liked my goal and the whole idea of “because” and “instead.” Thinking of all you fellow Pledgers kept me on track! I would love to know how things went for you — please email me at delaney@screenagersmovie.com, and with your permission, I will do a future blog of people’s goals (not with anyone’s names). By the way, there is still time to do the Pledge.
Yesterday, I released a new Screenagers Podcast episode titled "From Junk Food to Social Media: How Teens Get Manipulated" In it, David Yeager, PhD, discusses a study on youth social media use and manipulation. Today's blog also features an excerpt on his intervention, reducing kids' sugary food intake by 30% for months.
READ MORE >The topic of our traumas and our parenting is such an important one because when things set us off due to our own hard experiences, whether in childhood or later, our potentially effective responses get hijacked, and we can respond in ways that make things worse. For this TTT, I am sharing a snippet of my conversation with Johnson from this week’s episode of The Screenagers Podcast, titled: How Our Own Trauma Impacts Our Parenting
READ MORE >Some months ago, I got back into therapy, and I remember the first day back, the therapist asked me, “Do you do a self-compassion practice?” I remember the moment because I had one of those little head-scratching kind of moments. My therapist's question about a self-compassion practice made me want to understand what I might be missing and, most importantly, how self-compassion could help me as a parent and all parents.
READ MORE >for more like this, DR. DELANEY RUSTON'S NEW BOOK, PARENTING IN THE SCREEN AGE, IS THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE FOR TODAY’S PARENTS. WITH INSIGHTS ON SCREEN TIME FROM RESEARCHERS, INPUT FROM KIDS & TEENS, THIS BOOK IS PACKED WITH SOLUTIONS FOR HOW TO START AND SUSTAIN PRODUCTIVE FAMILY TALKS ABOUT TECHNOLOGY AND IT’S IMPACT ON OUR MENTAL WELLBEING.