With 2017 on the horizon, the last few days of 2016 are resolution season. Are you considering making some positive life changes? Great, me too.
But how can we make the changes stick…for real this time?
In my twenty years as a physician I have witnessed and experienced how hard it is to actually make a behavior change, no matter how compelling the reason. Even in the face of chronic obstructive lung disease, patients with years of tobacco use try to to quit and don’t always succeed. A person with diabetes can find it so hard to control eating habits, even though it’s a life and death matter.
My primary care experience has taught me that I must start with understanding a person’s readiness to change: Do they really want to? Why? Why not?
The same is true for changing behavior around screen use. Let’s say a teen wants, and even recognizes he needs, to decrease video game playing time Monday through Thursday. Start with the ‘why’: Why would this be a good change to make? What are the challenges or downsides? Lay these thoughts out proactively before making an action plan.
Another key component to success is picking one goal at a time. Define the goal with specifics around what success looks like. When parents say their approach to getting their kids to reduce their screen time is to simply model better use of their own screen time, I get worried. Having a goal like that is vague, and it is unclear how you will know whether you’ve achieved it.
S = Set goal
M = Monitor progress, like noting on a calendar each time you succeed
A = Arrange for success, like putting the video game controller out of sight during the week
R = Recruit people to help, like finding a friend who is also cutting back on video game time
T = Treat. (My favorite part!) Choose something that’s a personal reward you value, like having a special dessert or movie tickets or something else from the teen wish list.
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Our movie made for parents and educators of younger kids
Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!
Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
Learn more about our Screen-Free Sleep campaign at the website!
Our movie made for parents and educators of younger kids
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
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With 2017 on the horizon, the last few days of 2016 are resolution season. Are you considering making some positive life changes? Great, me too.
But how can we make the changes stick…for real this time?
In my twenty years as a physician I have witnessed and experienced how hard it is to actually make a behavior change, no matter how compelling the reason. Even in the face of chronic obstructive lung disease, patients with years of tobacco use try to to quit and don’t always succeed. A person with diabetes can find it so hard to control eating habits, even though it’s a life and death matter.
My primary care experience has taught me that I must start with understanding a person’s readiness to change: Do they really want to? Why? Why not?
The same is true for changing behavior around screen use. Let’s say a teen wants, and even recognizes he needs, to decrease video game playing time Monday through Thursday. Start with the ‘why’: Why would this be a good change to make? What are the challenges or downsides? Lay these thoughts out proactively before making an action plan.
Another key component to success is picking one goal at a time. Define the goal with specifics around what success looks like. When parents say their approach to getting their kids to reduce their screen time is to simply model better use of their own screen time, I get worried. Having a goal like that is vague, and it is unclear how you will know whether you’ve achieved it.
S = Set goal
M = Monitor progress, like noting on a calendar each time you succeed
A = Arrange for success, like putting the video game controller out of sight during the week
R = Recruit people to help, like finding a friend who is also cutting back on video game time
T = Treat. (My favorite part!) Choose something that’s a personal reward you value, like having a special dessert or movie tickets or something else from the teen wish list.
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With 2017 on the horizon, the last few days of 2016 are resolution season. Are you considering making some positive life changes? Great, me too.
But how can we make the changes stick…for real this time?
In my twenty years as a physician I have witnessed and experienced how hard it is to actually make a behavior change, no matter how compelling the reason. Even in the face of chronic obstructive lung disease, patients with years of tobacco use try to to quit and don’t always succeed. A person with diabetes can find it so hard to control eating habits, even though it’s a life and death matter.
My primary care experience has taught me that I must start with understanding a person’s readiness to change: Do they really want to? Why? Why not?
The same is true for changing behavior around screen use. Let’s say a teen wants, and even recognizes he needs, to decrease video game playing time Monday through Thursday. Start with the ‘why’: Why would this be a good change to make? What are the challenges or downsides? Lay these thoughts out proactively before making an action plan.
Another key component to success is picking one goal at a time. Define the goal with specifics around what success looks like. When parents say their approach to getting their kids to reduce their screen time is to simply model better use of their own screen time, I get worried. Having a goal like that is vague, and it is unclear how you will know whether you’ve achieved it.
S = Set goal
M = Monitor progress, like noting on a calendar each time you succeed
A = Arrange for success, like putting the video game controller out of sight during the week
R = Recruit people to help, like finding a friend who is also cutting back on video game time
T = Treat. (My favorite part!) Choose something that’s a personal reward you value, like having a special dessert or movie tickets or something else from the teen wish list.
A new Louis Theroux documentary on Netflix exposes the growing network of online influencers pushing sexism, misogyny, and a narrow vision of masculinity on boys and young men. Combined with last year's hit series Adolescence, it is a wake-up call for parents. The good news: there is a lot we can do. This week, I round up our most relevant blogs and podcast episodes from recent months, covering everything from the "interrupter" technique to boys' mental health, phones in schools, online sports betting, pornography, and the manosphere's exploitation of boys' loneliness. The research is clear that parents who show up with curiosity, honesty, and consistency have more influence than they realize.
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When kids struggle with big emotions, many parents reach for a screen to keep the peace — but this can get in the way of children developing real coping skills. Drawing on research from Dr. Jenny Radesky, this post shares two practical strategies: using the Zones of Regulation color system to help kids name and process their feelings, and doing a toy swap with another parent to build your "vulnerable village" of support. Both approaches turn difficult screen-time moments into opportunities for emotional growth.
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When teens say they hate you, it often feels personal, but it may not truly be about you. Teens sometimes direct their overwhelming feelings toward the safest person in their life. Instead of responding with logic or backing down out of fear, check that your limits are fair, practice self-compassion, and focus on validation rather than correction. If conflict feels stuck, family counseling can help both sides feel heard and understood.
READ MORE >for more like this, DR. DELANEY RUSTON'S NEW BOOK, PARENTING IN THE SCREEN AGE, IS THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE FOR TODAY’S PARENTS. WITH INSIGHTS ON SCREEN TIME FROM RESEARCHERS, INPUT FROM KIDS & TEENS, THIS BOOK IS PACKED WITH SOLUTIONS FOR HOW TO START AND SUSTAIN PRODUCTIVE FAMILY TALKS ABOUT TECHNOLOGY AND IT’S IMPACT ON OUR MENTAL WELLBEING.
