One day Tessa came charging into my office with her laptop and said, “Mom, look at this video!”
It was a video titled “I hate my life” by a YouTuber named Luna Montana.
Tessa explained that Luna is a popular YouTuber, and this particular video was of Luna in tears because she was really questioning her whole online life. What struck Tessa was that this is not that common for YouTubers to do. Yes, they can share personal information and such, but rarely do they break down and express their ambivalence of being an influencer.
“It’s so dark for me to make idealized versions of myself just so people can praise that version of me. How am I supposed to love my actual real self?”
“I am showing my body all the time, showing provocative content all the time, it is not me, it’s just a cry for attention.”
“I’m making videos of me buying fashion … it’s so useless.”
“I’m becoming the girl I didn’t want to be.”
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After watching the video, I asked Tessa if I could see what Luna usually is like on social media, and she showed me her Instagram feed. My husband was in the room, and we both glanced over to see one gorgeous shot after another, and some were fairly suggestive, like one where she’s wearing lingerie.
One phrase just kept coming into my mind while seeing all this, “Mixed messages, truly mixed messages.” I thought of the millions of young girls growing up with a steady stream of YouTube videos with influencers giving so many mixed messages. On the one hand, it is great that Luna is sharing that she is so conflicted about what she is doing. On the other hand, how would an 11-year-old girl reconcile Luna’s countless videos showing her having so much fun, hundreds of glamorous photos, and videos of shopping sprees?
Life is full of contradictions, and our kids try to make sense of them every day. What is their take on the YouTubers they watch? On Luna’s video?
From my perspective, I do appreciate that by making the video, Luna is giving her viewers a fuller perspective of a YouTuber’s complicated relationship with their life. It is not all glam all the time, and negative self-talk is a reality no matter how glam someone looks.
Also, in the video, Luna talks about how she is dealing with intense emotions and getting support from a therapist — I am glad that she is normalizing getting help from a therapist.
Another aspect of Luna’s video worth discussing is how each of us decides what feels authentic and what feels more crafted. YouTubers use frequent jump cuts in their editing. Does this kind of editing make us wonder how much is spontaneous and sincere vs. more intentionally sculpted? From my perspective, I experienced real empathy when I watched her video — she seems to be truly struggling, and my heart goes out to her.
Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
Learn more about our Screen-Free Sleep campaign at the website!
Our movie made for parents and educators of younger kids
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
Register your interest in bringing our new movie to your school or community
Sharing Luna’s “I hate my life” video with your kids can be a way to bring up the topic of all the complex messages, direct and indirect, that viewers get when watching influencers. (By the way, it’s a long video and by no means do you have to watch the whole thing to get a good conversation going.) And a final note: be prepared that Luna’s video brings up a lot about body image that is a painful reminder of this very charged topic and merits more time in a later Tech Talk Tuesdays blog post.
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One day Tessa came charging into my office with her laptop and said, “Mom, look at this video!”
It was a video titled “I hate my life” by a YouTuber named Luna Montana.
Tessa explained that Luna is a popular YouTuber, and this particular video was of Luna in tears because she was really questioning her whole online life. What struck Tessa was that this is not that common for YouTubers to do. Yes, they can share personal information and such, but rarely do they break down and express their ambivalence of being an influencer.
“It’s so dark for me to make idealized versions of myself just so people can praise that version of me. How am I supposed to love my actual real self?”
“I am showing my body all the time, showing provocative content all the time, it is not me, it’s just a cry for attention.”
“I’m making videos of me buying fashion … it’s so useless.”
“I’m becoming the girl I didn’t want to be.”
After watching the video, I asked Tessa if I could see what Luna usually is like on social media, and she showed me her Instagram feed. My husband was in the room, and we both glanced over to see one gorgeous shot after another, and some were fairly suggestive, like one where she’s wearing lingerie.
One phrase just kept coming into my mind while seeing all this, “Mixed messages, truly mixed messages.” I thought of the millions of young girls growing up with a steady stream of YouTube videos with influencers giving so many mixed messages. On the one hand, it is great that Luna is sharing that she is so conflicted about what she is doing. On the other hand, how would an 11-year-old girl reconcile Luna’s countless videos showing her having so much fun, hundreds of glamorous photos, and videos of shopping sprees?
Life is full of contradictions, and our kids try to make sense of them every day. What is their take on the YouTubers they watch? On Luna’s video?
From my perspective, I do appreciate that by making the video, Luna is giving her viewers a fuller perspective of a YouTuber’s complicated relationship with their life. It is not all glam all the time, and negative self-talk is a reality no matter how glam someone looks.
Also, in the video, Luna talks about how she is dealing with intense emotions and getting support from a therapist — I am glad that she is normalizing getting help from a therapist.
Another aspect of Luna’s video worth discussing is how each of us decides what feels authentic and what feels more crafted. YouTubers use frequent jump cuts in their editing. Does this kind of editing make us wonder how much is spontaneous and sincere vs. more intentionally sculpted? From my perspective, I experienced real empathy when I watched her video — she seems to be truly struggling, and my heart goes out to her.
Sharing Luna’s “I hate my life” video with your kids can be a way to bring up the topic of all the complex messages, direct and indirect, that viewers get when watching influencers. (By the way, it’s a long video and by no means do you have to watch the whole thing to get a good conversation going.) And a final note: be prepared that Luna’s video brings up a lot about body image that is a painful reminder of this very charged topic and merits more time in a later Tech Talk Tuesdays blog post.
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One day Tessa came charging into my office with her laptop and said, “Mom, look at this video!”
It was a video titled “I hate my life” by a YouTuber named Luna Montana.
Tessa explained that Luna is a popular YouTuber, and this particular video was of Luna in tears because she was really questioning her whole online life. What struck Tessa was that this is not that common for YouTubers to do. Yes, they can share personal information and such, but rarely do they break down and express their ambivalence of being an influencer.
“It’s so dark for me to make idealized versions of myself just so people can praise that version of me. How am I supposed to love my actual real self?”
“I am showing my body all the time, showing provocative content all the time, it is not me, it’s just a cry for attention.”
“I’m making videos of me buying fashion … it’s so useless.”
“I’m becoming the girl I didn’t want to be.”
A Los Angeles jury has found Meta and YouTube liable for designing platforms that addicted a child and harmed her mental health, the first verdict of its kind. The case shifted the legal debate away from free speech and Section 230 protections toward platform design and its impact on young users. This is being called social media's "Big Tobacco moment," and it is one worth explaining to the kids in your life.
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Jared Cooney Horvath argues that the common defense of classroom technology — “there’s no definitive evidence of harm” — sets an unrealistic standard. Because ed tech evolves rapidly, product-specific causal trials are often impossible and ethically problematic. Instead, he points to converging evidence. In Utah, long-rising achievement scores reversed after digital tools became central in 2014, a pattern echoed in broader national and international data, raising concerns about large-scale tech adoption without clear evidence of benefit.
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Instagram’s new Teen Accounts are being promoted as safer for kids, but recent nationally representative data tells a more complicated story. This post invites families to take a research-based quiz together and have a calm, curiosity-driven conversation about what teens are actually experiencing on the platform — and what that means for trust, safety, and screen time.
READ MORE >for more like this, DR. DELANEY RUSTON'S NEW BOOK, PARENTING IN THE SCREEN AGE, IS THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE FOR TODAY’S PARENTS. WITH INSIGHTS ON SCREEN TIME FROM RESEARCHERS, INPUT FROM KIDS & TEENS, THIS BOOK IS PACKED WITH SOLUTIONS FOR HOW TO START AND SUSTAIN PRODUCTIVE FAMILY TALKS ABOUT TECHNOLOGY AND IT’S IMPACT ON OUR MENTAL WELLBEING.
