Transitions are challenging—from entering a new summer program to starting a new school to going off to college. Youth are facing these transitions with new forms of communication and self-presentation—yep, you got it...social media platforms. These platforms can both help and hinder these transitions and that is what I want to discuss today.
When it comes to getting new roommates, youth often use social media to do some pre-meeting investigation and connection. I know of teens who said they were already “friends” with their roommate before they ever met because of the cyber-snooping and SnapChatting they did over the summer. They felt having this friendship made the transition more comfortable.
Others have told me that this preconceived idea of who this new person was made them anxious about the upcoming transition because they didn’t like or felt intimidated by what they saw on the roommate's social feeds. My son Chase, after a gap year, is heading off to college next month and the university has a policy not to reveal roommate assignments before everyone gets to campus. The policy is written as such: “We have found that roommate relationships are more positive and successful when they start out with face-to-face interaction, rather than on preconceived notions based on fragments of information or online communications.”
Another issue college freshmen face is the constant contact they often maintain with their high school friends. This social tether is comforting but also at times can engender FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). We all know that most people often present their best experiences on social media. My co-producer’s son started college last year, and during his first semester, he told her that from looking at his high school friends’ social feeds he surmised that they were having more fun at their respective colleges than he was. This made him question his college choice, making him feel envious and lonely at times.
A young man who is about to enter his sophomore year in college told me how unexpectedly lonely he was for the first half of his freshman year. It was challenging to meet people that he related to. Before entering college he only heard how it was “so great” and “so fun” but no one ever mentioned how lonely it might be. For human connection, he frequently retreated to his phone to text his long-distance girlfriend. He realized that the crutch of ongoing communication with his girlfriend kept him from putting himself out there to meet people. Fortunately, during the second semester, he met a couple of people that he bonded with and now is looking forward to returning to college.
Me: “Are you taking any risks this summer?”
Teenager: He interrupted me “Oh no, no, I don’t do any risks” —clearly assuming I was referring to risks such as drugs.
Me: “No, no what I was going to ask is whether you are taking risks such as asking someone you might be shy about asking, to hang out? That would be a risk to ask them to do something, right?"
Him: “Oh gosh, yeah that’s true”
Me: “It can be so valuable to practice doing that—it can be hard, but, hey, you might get a new friend, so it could really be worth it. And, if you don’t, well, you've gotten better at risk-taking...in the positive sense of the word."
He smiled a genuine smile, and I could tell he was happy we had this little exchange.
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Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!
Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
Learn more about our Screen-Free Sleep campaign at the website!
Our movie made for parents and educators of younger kids
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
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Transitions are challenging—from entering a new summer program to starting a new school to going off to college. Youth are facing these transitions with new forms of communication and self-presentation—yep, you got it...social media platforms. These platforms can both help and hinder these transitions and that is what I want to discuss today.
When it comes to getting new roommates, youth often use social media to do some pre-meeting investigation and connection. I know of teens who said they were already “friends” with their roommate before they ever met because of the cyber-snooping and SnapChatting they did over the summer. They felt having this friendship made the transition more comfortable.
Others have told me that this preconceived idea of who this new person was made them anxious about the upcoming transition because they didn’t like or felt intimidated by what they saw on the roommate's social feeds. My son Chase, after a gap year, is heading off to college next month and the university has a policy not to reveal roommate assignments before everyone gets to campus. The policy is written as such: “We have found that roommate relationships are more positive and successful when they start out with face-to-face interaction, rather than on preconceived notions based on fragments of information or online communications.”
Another issue college freshmen face is the constant contact they often maintain with their high school friends. This social tether is comforting but also at times can engender FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). We all know that most people often present their best experiences on social media. My co-producer’s son started college last year, and during his first semester, he told her that from looking at his high school friends’ social feeds he surmised that they were having more fun at their respective colleges than he was. This made him question his college choice, making him feel envious and lonely at times.
A young man who is about to enter his sophomore year in college told me how unexpectedly lonely he was for the first half of his freshman year. It was challenging to meet people that he related to. Before entering college he only heard how it was “so great” and “so fun” but no one ever mentioned how lonely it might be. For human connection, he frequently retreated to his phone to text his long-distance girlfriend. He realized that the crutch of ongoing communication with his girlfriend kept him from putting himself out there to meet people. Fortunately, during the second semester, he met a couple of people that he bonded with and now is looking forward to returning to college.
Me: “Are you taking any risks this summer?”
Teenager: He interrupted me “Oh no, no, I don’t do any risks” —clearly assuming I was referring to risks such as drugs.
Me: “No, no what I was going to ask is whether you are taking risks such as asking someone you might be shy about asking, to hang out? That would be a risk to ask them to do something, right?"
Him: “Oh gosh, yeah that’s true”
Me: “It can be so valuable to practice doing that—it can be hard, but, hey, you might get a new friend, so it could really be worth it. And, if you don’t, well, you've gotten better at risk-taking...in the positive sense of the word."
He smiled a genuine smile, and I could tell he was happy we had this little exchange.
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Transitions are challenging—from entering a new summer program to starting a new school to going off to college. Youth are facing these transitions with new forms of communication and self-presentation—yep, you got it...social media platforms. These platforms can both help and hinder these transitions and that is what I want to discuss today.
When it comes to getting new roommates, youth often use social media to do some pre-meeting investigation and connection. I know of teens who said they were already “friends” with their roommate before they ever met because of the cyber-snooping and SnapChatting they did over the summer. They felt having this friendship made the transition more comfortable.
Others have told me that this preconceived idea of who this new person was made them anxious about the upcoming transition because they didn’t like or felt intimidated by what they saw on the roommate's social feeds. My son Chase, after a gap year, is heading off to college next month and the university has a policy not to reveal roommate assignments before everyone gets to campus. The policy is written as such: “We have found that roommate relationships are more positive and successful when they start out with face-to-face interaction, rather than on preconceived notions based on fragments of information or online communications.”
Another issue college freshmen face is the constant contact they often maintain with their high school friends. This social tether is comforting but also at times can engender FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). We all know that most people often present their best experiences on social media. My co-producer’s son started college last year, and during his first semester, he told her that from looking at his high school friends’ social feeds he surmised that they were having more fun at their respective colleges than he was. This made him question his college choice, making him feel envious and lonely at times.
A young man who is about to enter his sophomore year in college told me how unexpectedly lonely he was for the first half of his freshman year. It was challenging to meet people that he related to. Before entering college he only heard how it was “so great” and “so fun” but no one ever mentioned how lonely it might be. For human connection, he frequently retreated to his phone to text his long-distance girlfriend. He realized that the crutch of ongoing communication with his girlfriend kept him from putting himself out there to meet people. Fortunately, during the second semester, he met a couple of people that he bonded with and now is looking forward to returning to college.
Me: “Are you taking any risks this summer?”
Teenager: He interrupted me “Oh no, no, I don’t do any risks” —clearly assuming I was referring to risks such as drugs.
Me: “No, no what I was going to ask is whether you are taking risks such as asking someone you might be shy about asking, to hang out? That would be a risk to ask them to do something, right?"
Him: “Oh gosh, yeah that’s true”
Me: “It can be so valuable to practice doing that—it can be hard, but, hey, you might get a new friend, so it could really be worth it. And, if you don’t, well, you've gotten better at risk-taking...in the positive sense of the word."
He smiled a genuine smile, and I could tell he was happy we had this little exchange.
It feels like we’re finally hitting a tipping point. The harms from social media in young people’s lives have been building for far too long, and bold solutions can’t wait any longer. That’s why what just happened in Australia is extremely exciting. Their new nationwide move marks one of the biggest attempts yet to protect kids online. And as we released a new podcast episode yesterday featuring a mother who lost her 14-year-old son after a tragic connection made through social media, I couldn’t help but think: this is exactly the kind of real-world action families have been desperate for. In today’s blog, I share five key things to understand about what Australia is doing because it’s big, it’s controversial, and it might just spark global change.
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I hear from so many parents who feel conflicted about their own phone habits when it comes to modeling healthy use for their kids. They’ll say, “I tell my kids to get off their screens, but then I’m on mine all the time.” Today I introduce two moms who are taking on my One Small Change Challenge and share how you can try it too.
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This week’s blog explores how influencers and social media promoting so-called “Healthy” ideals — from food rules to fitness fads — can quietly lead young people toward disordered eating. Featuring insights from Dr. Jennifer Gaudiani, a leading expert on eating disorders, we unpack how to spot harmful messages and start honest conversations with kids about wellness, body image, and what “healthy” really means.
READ MORE >for more like this, DR. DELANEY RUSTON'S NEW BOOK, PARENTING IN THE SCREEN AGE, IS THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE FOR TODAY’S PARENTS. WITH INSIGHTS ON SCREEN TIME FROM RESEARCHERS, INPUT FROM KIDS & TEENS, THIS BOOK IS PACKED WITH SOLUTIONS FOR HOW TO START AND SUSTAIN PRODUCTIVE FAMILY TALKS ABOUT TECHNOLOGY AND IT’S IMPACT ON OUR MENTAL WELLBEING.
